In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?
In the digital era ,
people
tend to reside many
Change preposition
in many
sepharate
accommodations , in comparison with , the fixed lifestyle in the past. Correct your spelling
separate
This
essay aim
to point out a Change the verb form
aims
number
of reasons attributed to this
tendency , before showing the merits Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweight
the adverse impacts
There is no denying that the propensity of changing areas to live would be attributed Correct your spelling
outweigh
for
a Change preposition
to
number
of reasons. Firstly
, given the fact that the proliferation of job oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
development
emerges as a main contributor to this
trend .It can be explain
that Change the verb form
be explained
this
has provided many new jobs in variety
of fields , which Add an article
a variety
create
more chances for Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
people
,especially the youth to improve themselves to get a job. For example
, in the
Correct article usage
apply
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
day
Add a comma
day,
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
Replace the word
technological
development
has become increasingly more and more prevalent which has created more IT jobs such
as IT support team
, IT Fix the agreement mistake
teams
teacher
, Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
IT
Correct word choice
and IT
editor
to serve the levels of Fix the agreement mistake
editors
development
era . Secondly
, there is no doubt that the utilization of the mean
of transport which has enhanced the way Fix the agreement mistake
means
people
moving
is one of the most glaring reasons . It can Wrong verb form
move
be explain
that Change the verb form
be explained
the
intelligent public transport Correct article usage
apply
such
as driverless car
, Fix the agreement mistake
cars
plane
, Fix the agreement mistake
planes
Correct word choice
and boat
boat
which can easily take us to Fix the agreement mistake
boats
the
destination more quickly and more Change the word
our
convenient
has improved the way Change the word
conveniently
people
moving
to Wrong verb form
move
another regions
despite Replace the adjective
another region
other regions
of
Change preposition
apply
its
vast distance.
Correct pronoun usage
their
Simutanously
, I am of the opinion that Correct your spelling
Simultaneously
this
tendency would be a great development
. In the economic aspect, the use of the number
of high-qualified
Correct your spelling
highly qualified
worker
who migrate can benefit Change to a plural noun
workers
for
many developed countries Change preposition
apply
where
are facing Correct word choice
that
up to
the agencying population problem. Many developed nations would use them as a suitable measure to deal with the lack of position Change preposition
apply
recuitment
in many companies where are Correct your spelling
recruitment
lack
of workers . Correct article usage
a lack
For example
, in Japan and Korea where have occured
a Correct your spelling
occurred
subtantial
decline in Correct your spelling
substantial
popultion
count Correct your spelling
population
need
more overseas worker sources to deal with the reduction in the Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
number
of workers .
To conclude
, I would refirm
that, the proliferation of job Correct your spelling
reform
reaffirm
Correct your spelling
opportunities
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
development
and the utilization of the mean
of transport Fix the agreement mistake
means
which
contribute to Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
trend and this
also
brings many merits to the economic aspect in many developed nationsSubmitted by dinhthiluyen01061980 on
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introduction
Ensure that your introduction explicitly addresses the question asked, providing a clear thesis statement that outlines your view. Avoid unclear phrases and inaccuracies.
paragraph structure
Work on constructing paragraphs with clear topic sentences that directly relate to the task, and ensure that each paragraph has a single, well-developed idea with relevant supporting details.
cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a range of cohesive devices to create a logical flow of ideas. Consider using transitional phrases to better link sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Your response should comprehensively address the task by discussing both reasons for the trend and assessing its positive and negative aspects. Make sure you provide a balanced discussion.
clarity
Clarify your main ideas by avoiding repetition and by expressing your thoughts more concisely. Aim for clear and comprehensive arguments throughout your essay.
examples
Enrich your essay by incorporating specific and relevant examples to support your points. These examples should be detailed and directly related to the points being made.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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