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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002

The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002
#information #consumer #items #five #countries
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The table below shows
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spending variety of
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 by users in 5 different
countries
Use synonyms
 in 2002
Overall
Linking Words
 in all
Use synonyms
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 people consumed food|Tobacco|Drinks with
Correct article usage
a high
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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 percentage,
while
Linking Words
leisure|education
Use synonyms
 was less. In Italy people spent the biggest amount
for
Change preposition
on
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 drinks|food|
smoking
Correct word choice
and smoking
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 16.36%.
Clothing|footwear
Use synonyms
 was at 9.00%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 in 5 all
countries
Use synonyms
.
Leisure|Education
Use synonyms
 was the lowest in Italy with 3.20%. In Spain food|drinks|tobacco were used with 18.80%.
However
Linking Words
,
Clothing|footwear
Use synonyms
 and
leisure|education
Use synonyms
 were less respectively 6.51% and 1.98% . In
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
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 food |drink|smoking was 15.77%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was the lowest in all
countries
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to
clothing|
Use synonyms
footwear
Correct word choice
and footwear
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 was
also
Linking Words
 the lowest.
However
Linking Words
,
leisure|education
Use synonyms
 was
avarge
Correct your spelling
average
 with 3.22%. In
Turkey
Add a comma
Turkey,
show examples
 people
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food|drinks|
tobacco
Correct word choice
and tobacco
show examples
 with 32.14%. In
Sweden
Add a comma
Sweden,
show examples
 it was consumed with 28.91%.
However
Linking Words
,
clothing|footwear
Use synonyms
werw
Correct your spelling
were
 almost equal in both
countries
Use synonyms
 with 6.43% and 6.63% Leisure| Education was
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
used twice
in
Correct quantifier usage
much in
show examples
 Turkey than
Sweden
Change preposition
in Sweden
show examples
. They were 2.21% and 4.35%.
Submitted by 1anticlon12 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, leisure|education, clothing|footwear with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer spending
  • items
  • countries
  • comparison
  • overview
  • table
  • data
  • information
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • figures
  • categories
  • expenditure
  • purchases
  • spending habits
  • trends
  • average
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • pattern
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