IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It’s sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and society. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that
marriage
Use synonyms
 is an important institution in society.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that people should get married before the
age
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 of 30 for the sake of personal and social benefits, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 view. In my opinion, I consider that
marriage
Use synonyms
 should be a personal decision based on readiness, rather than a strict
age
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 requirement.
To begin
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 with, getting married before 30 can bring stability and emotional support to individuals.
In other words
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,
marriage
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 at a young
age
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 can provide a strong foundation for a family and a partnership.
In addition
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, young
couples
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 may have more energy and time to build their careers and raise children together.
For example
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, some
couples
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 who marry early are able to grow and support each other
while
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 managing their professional and personal lives. Another point to be considered is that the pressure to marry before 30 might not be ideal for everyone. It is
also
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 possible to say that some people may not feel ready for
marriage
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 at a young
age
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 and might prefer to focus on personal development or career growth.
Moreover
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,
marriage
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 at an early
age
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 can lead to difficulties if individuals are not mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a lifelong commitment.
For instance
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, many young
couples
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 face challenges that older
couples
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 may be better equipped to handle
due to
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 life experience.
To sum up
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, despite people having different points of view, I believe that
marriage
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 should be based on personal choice and readiness rather than an
age
Use synonyms
-based guideline.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments. This can help strengthen your ideas further.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the overall flow of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to your main thesis to reinforce your overall argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up your argument and presents your opinion concisely.
coherence and cohesion
You have a logical structure in presenting your points and counterpoints effectively.
task achievement
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main argument while acknowledging different perspectives.
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