Many people believe that the only benefit of working is the money that they earn. However, working provides other benefits as well. Apart from earning money, what are the benefits of working? What measures can be taken to ensure that everyone benefits from their work?

Nowadays, human
being
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beings
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are struggling for good
job
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jobs
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that pay
good
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a good
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amount of revenue.
However
, many people believe that
this
is the only benefit of working, but working not only
provide
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provides
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financial advantage but
also
some other
benefits
. Pros of the working and steps to ensure that everyone
benefits
from their
work
will
bi
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be
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discussed in ensuing paragraphs with relevant
example
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examples
show examples
.
First
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The first
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and foremost benefit is,
job
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the job
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provide
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provides
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practical knowledge of the particular field of
work
. To elaborate, if the individuals
purse
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pursue
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only educational knowledge
that
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apply
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it is worth less, but practical literature that one will get from
job
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a job
the job
show examples
can help to enhance the productivity
as well as
the creativity of the individual. Apart from that,
while
working with
corporate
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the corporate
a corporate
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team, people will get
know
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to know
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about different behaviour of the person and one can learn practical skills like communication skill and
team
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teamwork
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work
skill.
For instance
, in school days students can't improve their communication
skill
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skills
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as they
are meeting
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meet
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the same person
everyday
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every day
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while
in
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at
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job
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the job
a job
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they meet new
person
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people
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frequently. By discussing the measures to help employees with different
benefits
of the
job
.
Firstly
, there is still informal
work
, more commonly in developing countries. The authorities should take action on creating plans to increment the formality rate so that people benefit from the labour measurements and
also
the unemployment rate will be reduced.
Secondly
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Secondly,
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the governments are aware of independent labourers,
there
Correct word choice
but there
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is still a lack of welfare for these individuals. So, it seems reasonable to generate a better law for independents.
To sum up
, there is a variety of advantages apart from money provided by having a
job
which
definately
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definitely
help
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helps
show examples
individuals in various ways like soft skills and employers must take steps to provide other
benefits
apart from money.
Submitted by starabbas2003+writing9 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed. The essay touches on the benefits of work beyond monetary compensation but could be more comprehensive in discussing specific measures to ensure everyone benefits from their work.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical progression of ideas by improving paragraph transitions and making a clearer distinction between each argument.
task achievement
Strengthen the main points with specific and detailed examples to illustrate arguments and provide evidence of the benefits of work.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion could be more defined. The introduction should clearly explain the intention of the essay, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate the importance of the discussed ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sense of purpose
  • Career progression
  • Networking
  • Skillset
  • Work-life balance
  • Personal development
  • Self-esteem
  • Job satisfaction
  • Professional growth
  • Mental well-being
  • Physical fitness
  • Economic contribution
  • Innovation
  • Employee recognition
  • Job security
  • Supportive workplace
  • Fair wages
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