Some people think studying from the past offers no benefits to today’s life, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of
wether
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whether
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or not learning
history
is beneficial. Some people assert that, nowadays, examining the past is useless,
whereas
many others argue that it can be helpful. Personally, I am in favour of the
later
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latter
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view. On the one hand,
past
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the past
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seems to be disadvantageous. Today, it has become less
intersting beacuse
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interesting because
of advances
of
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in
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technology. To be more precise, society is so involved in technology that even do not
care
Rephrase
even care
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about elder people. It is because they are being manipulated by the new machines.
For instance
, Tesla creates artificial humans that will replace individuals soon. By enhancing technology, humans are
being
Verb problem
becoming
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less knowledged and selfish.
On the other hand
,
history
appers
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appears
to be
adventageous
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advantageous
. Exploring
history
may aid individuals
to preserve
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in preserving
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the culture and great humans ever lived on earth.
This
is on the grounds
of
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that
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history
will
persit
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persist
permit
in to be taught to
next
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the next
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generations.
For example
, some authors invent books about
history
Add an article
the history
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of different people, countries and events. Unless it stops, the
history
will remain unforgettable.
To conclude
, I would concede that exploring
past
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the past
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is unlikely to possess importance. Despite that, it certainly supports society in a much better way.
Submitted by abdullo0 on

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coherence cohesion
You should enhance the logical structure of your essay by providing clearer and more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will delineate the argument and guide the reader through your discussion more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriately bookend your essay. In your introduction, more explicitly outline the views to be discussed and state your own position. The conclusion should sum up the arguments discussed and restate your stance, providing a sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be supported with more detailed arguments, illustrations, or examples. Expand on your ideas, explaining why technology makes studying the past less relevant today, or how exactly history helps to preserve culture. Examples should be real and persuasive, which strengthens the validity of your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task by discussing both views equally and delivering a clear opinion. The current response seems biased towards one viewpoint. Provide a balanced discussion before presenting your perspective. Ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed and the connection to the question is apparent throughout.
task achievement
In order to score higher, develop comprehensive ideas through detailed analysis and thoughtful reflection. Explain how and why the study of history is believed to be beneficial or not, and provide a deep analysis of the opposing viewpoints with clear reasoning.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support the arguments presented. Use historical facts, studies, or clear hypothetical situations to strengthen the assertions about the importance of history. Avoid vague references and present solid, specific evidence that aligns with your claims. This adds credibility to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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