uestion:the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. Do you agree or disagre with this statement?

#uestion #aim #science #people #lives #disagre

Science

is the most useful invention of

modern

Add an article

the modern

show examples

age. Upgrading

mans

Change to a genitive case

man's

show examples

life

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

should be the first priority of

science

I'm totally agree

Change the verb form

I totally agree

show examples

with

this

because the motive of developing

science

is just for easier to

people’s

lives

Firstly

, in

this

modern

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

wake up with

science

and it

continue

Change the verb form

continues

show examples

till

then

go for

Wrong verb form

goes

show examples

bad

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

at night.

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

we are using a lot of products to smother our

life

which is

gift

Add an article

a gift

show examples

from

science

. At

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

are using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, electronic devices, air cooler

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

,printing devices etc. It

also

equals improve our households work like as there

outstanding

Add an article

an outstanding

show examples

product like as washing matching, ac,pressure cooker,oven etc.

It's not be

Change the verb form

It's not

show examples

possible to mention all the products which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

gift

Add an article

a gift

show examples

from

science

. Because it's

Change preposition

apply

show examples

uncountable. But

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

all are very useful.

For

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

science

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

spend more time

create

Change the form of the verb

creating

show examples

new things which will develop

people’s

future lives.

Secondly

,through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the health

sector

Add a comma

sector,

show examples

many

people’s

life save

Wrong verb form

lives have been saved

show examples

by scientific

envention

Correct your spelling

intervention

there

Capitalize word

There

show examples

are a lot of mashing set up in the hospitals which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

doing remarkable work for

diagnosis

Correct article usage

the diagnosis

show examples

various

Change preposition

of various

show examples

disses

Correct your spelling

diseases

show examples

and

also

useful for treatment. But now a day's increasing new

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

rapidly,

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

suffer

Replace the word

suffering

show examples

from various unknown various. That's why there is no need to argue that

science

should give more

improtance

Correct your spelling

importance

to updating

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

sector. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

Correct article usage

the Aducation

show examples

Aducation

Correct your spelling

education

system

also

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

special attention to

science

to develop

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

higher studies

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

activity.

However

science

Verb problem

has

show examples

not only given us

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

useful things but

also

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

some

Correct pronoun usage

us some

show examples

worst

Correct word choice

worse

show examples

things

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

by using

Correct article usage

the

show examples

internet many young

star's

Change noun form

stars

show examples

spoiled

Replace the word

spoil

show examples

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

lives. Porn addiction is one of

dangerous

Add an article

the dangerous

show examples

items

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

them. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion I would like to say that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

should give the

gratest

Correct your spelling

greatest

prioritise

for

Change preposition

show examples

improving

people’s

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Submitted by jannathfarhana2 on Wed Dec 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. It is essential to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. The subsequent sentences should develop that idea and lead to a concluding sentence that wraps up the point made. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs, but ensure that their use enhances the flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but not fully effective. The introduction should paraphrase the question and clearly state your position. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion. Ensure that both are fully developed and clearly signal the beginning and end of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Some main points are supported, but often the support is not fully developed. Provide clear and direct explanations of how each point supports your argument. Use relevant examples to illustrate your ideas and explain their significance to your argument. Avoid making broad generalizations without sufficient evidence.

task achievement

While you have responded to the task, the response could be more complete. Ensure that you address all parts of the task prompt. Expand on your ideas to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Avoid repeating the same points; instead, present a balanced view by considering multiple aspects of the issue.

task achievement

Your ideas are somewhat clear but lack comprehensiveness. Work on clearly articulating your thoughts in a structured and detailed manner. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea that is clearly stated and developed throughout the paragraph.

task achievement

The use of specific examples is limited, and the examples provided do not always strengthen your argument. Be sure to include clear and relevant examples that directly support your points. Each example should be elaborated upon to demonstrate how it pertains to the topic of improving people's lives through science.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
63Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some individuals argue that children should always heed the advice given by their parents, while others believe that children should make decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is believed that children should pay attention to the parents’ advice, whereas others argue that they should determine on their own. Both view will be discussed in this essay and I endorse the latter view due to the potential consequences it poses.
5.5
band
Some people prefer to eat meals at restaurants, while others like to prepare and eat food in their own home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is a trend these days for some people to eat from hotels whereas many others enjoy their home meals.Although hoteling has some attraction for a huge gathering with prospects for socialization and entertainment, I personally prefer home-made items because of their peculiar taste and hygiene.
4.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Excessive habit or usage of anything is not good for your body. The youngsters spend long hours daily on their gadgets. Children usually spend time on phones, for various purposes of entertainment like watching movies, scrolling social media, sites, reading newspapers or articles, connecting with family members and friends and much more. In my view, a negative enhancement for a child. Smartphones are quite addictive. And, intervene in the overall development of a child in multiple ways such as weak memory, loss of sight, obesity and others.
6.5
band
"Prevention is better than a cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.
Of course, the concept of "prevention is better than cure" leads to debates about the priority of prevention, using investments in scientific research to treat diseases. While some argue that developing technologies to treat disease is expensive and that prevention should be emphasized, I disagree. Research tests for drug discovery and smooth and cost cycle expectations. The fight against COVID-19 proves that investment is essential to save humanity. This is an obvious urgent need for scientific research and medical advances. The pandemic highlights the importance of allocating resources to rapidly understand and combat emerging threats. Preventive measures alone may not be sufficient to address rapidly changing and unpredictable health crises.
8
band
Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solution can you suggest?
There has been a controversial discussion point that humans are affecting the ecosystem around the world, resulting in several species becoming extinct. The primary causes of biodiversity loss are the overpopulation issue and the large amount of contaminants from factories, yet it can be solved by the governments in developing conservation areas.

uestion:the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. Do you agree or disagre with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some individuals argue that children should always heed the advice given by their parents, while others believe that children should make decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to eat meals at restaurants, while others like to prepare and eat food in their own home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

"Prevention is better than a cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.

Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solution can you suggest?