uestion:the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. Do you agree or disagre with this statement?
Science
is the most useful invention of modern
age.
Upgrading Add an article
the modern
mans
Change to a genitive case
man's
life
is
should be the first priority of Unnecessary verb
apply
science
.
I'm totally agree
with Change the verb form
I totally agree
this
because the motive of developing science
is just for easier to people’s
lives
Firstly
, in this
modern era
we Add a comma
era,
are
wake up with Unnecessary verb
apply
science
and it continue
till Change the verb form
continues
then
go for
bad Wrong verb form
goes
also
at night.Rephrase
apply
everyday
we are using a lot of products to smother our Replace the word
every day
life
which is gift
from Add an article
a gift
science
. At office
we Add an article
the office
are using
Wrong verb form
use
computer
, electronic devices, air cooler Fix the agreement mistake
computers
system
,printing devices etc. It Fix the agreement mistake
systems
also
equals improve our households work like as there outstanding
product like as washing matching, ac,pressure cooker,oven etc.
Add an article
an outstanding
It's not be
possible to mention all the products which Change the verb form
It's not
is
Change the verb form
are
gift
from Add an article
a gift
science
. Because it's like
uncountable. But Change preposition
apply
this
all are very useful. Correct pronoun usage
these
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
science
should be
spend more time Unnecessary verb
apply
create
new things which will develop Change the form of the verb
creating
people’s
future lives.
Secondly
,through by
the health Change preposition
apply
sector
many Add a comma
sector,
people’s
life save
by scientific Wrong verb form
lives have been saved
envention
.Correct your spelling
intervention
there
are a lot of mashing set up in the hospitals which Capitalize word
There
is
doing remarkable work for Change the verb form
are
diagnosis
Correct article usage
the diagnosis
various
Change preposition
of various
disses
and Correct your spelling
diseases
also
useful for treatment. But now a day's increasing new disease
rapidly, Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
public
Correct article usage
the public
suffer
from various unknown various. That's why there is no need to argue that Replace the word
suffering
science
should give more improtance
to updating Correct your spelling
importance
Correct article usage
the health
health care
sector.
On the other Correct your spelling
healthcare
hands
, Fix the agreement mistake
hand
Correct article usage
the Aducation
Aducation
system Correct your spelling
education
also
need
special attention to Change the verb form
needs
science
to develop there
higher studies Correct your spelling
their
students
activity.
Change noun form
students'
student's
However
, science
is
not only given us Verb problem
has
the
useful things but Correct article usage
apply
also
give
Wrong verb form
given
some
Correct pronoun usage
us some
worst
thingsCorrect word choice
worse
Rephrase
apply
also
. For
example
by usingAdd a comma
example,
Correct article usage
the
star's
Change noun form
stars
spoiled
Replace the word
spoil
there
lives. Porn addiction is one of Correct your spelling
their
dangerous
items Add an article
the dangerous
from
them.
In Change preposition
for
the
conclusion I would like to say that Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
science
should give the gratest
prioritise Correct your spelling
greatest
for
improving Change preposition
to
people’s
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. It is essential to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. The subsequent sentences should develop that idea and lead to a concluding sentence that wraps up the point made. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs, but ensure that their use enhances the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but not fully effective. The introduction should paraphrase the question and clearly state your position. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion. Ensure that both are fully developed and clearly signal the beginning and end of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Some main points are supported, but often the support is not fully developed. Provide clear and direct explanations of how each point supports your argument. Use relevant examples to illustrate your ideas and explain their significance to your argument. Avoid making broad generalizations without sufficient evidence.
task achievement
While you have responded to the task, the response could be more complete. Ensure that you address all parts of the task prompt. Expand on your ideas to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Avoid repeating the same points; instead, present a balanced view by considering multiple aspects of the issue.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but lack comprehensiveness. Work on clearly articulating your thoughts in a structured and detailed manner. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea that is clearly stated and developed throughout the paragraph.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is limited, and the examples provided do not always strengthen your argument. Be sure to include clear and relevant examples that directly support your points. Each example should be elaborated upon to demonstrate how it pertains to the topic of improving people's lives through science.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.