IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Your local newspaper published an advertisement asking people to help with environment projects in your area. Write a letter to a project manager to offer your help. In your letter - Describe a local environmental issue that affects you. - Explain what you would like to do help. - And suggest how the problem could be avoided in future.

#newspaper #advertisement #people #environment #projects #area #project #manager #offer #future
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you in respect of the advertisement published
last
 week Sunday 11th asking for help with environmental projects. I am delighted to volunteer to help. Over the recent years, there has been
Correct article usage
a build
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build up
Add a hyphen
build-up
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 of refuse on the streets and drainages leading to blockage.
This
 has caused serious flooding in the area during
rainy
Add an article
the rainy
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 season. To arrest
this
 situation
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
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, I
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 like to organise youths in the area and clean out drainages at least once a month. Together, we will ensure all areas are rid of refuse. Thinking ahead,
this
 situation can be prevented by
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 providing covered drainages to avoid blockage
as well as
 sensitizing the community against emptying refuse into existing gutters. I look forward to helping save the environment. Yours Faithfully, Eseosa Ebhohimen
Submitted by jeeanay on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea; the second paragraph could be divided to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detail to fully develop your response.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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