Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
technology – oriented
society, individuals are bombarded by advertising, Correct your spelling
technology–oriented
therefore
it makes people think the
Correct your spelling
that
advertisement
things are quite necessary and useful in their daily Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
life
. Consequently
, this
phenomenon brings
some negative influence on human Verb problem
has
life
. In my point, I wholeheartedly agree that
with Correct word choice
apply
this
point of view.
On the other hand
, I wholeheartedly agree that advertising is important in individual’s lives. The development of contemporary society nowadays allows the effect to combine visual and audio making advertisements to persuade viewers to feel it is really necessary and mandatory purchases. For instance
, floor detergent cleaning is advertised on a lot of social media platforms with the
eye-catching effects and attracts viewers Correct article usage
apply
that
Correct word choice
apply
them
understand its importance and Correct pronoun usage
who
then
they buy it. Anther
reason why I agree with the harmful influence of advertising on human Correct your spelling
Another
life
is the children’s erroneous awareness of junk food. The majority of parents are willing to buy some snacks for their children, by contrast
, the minority is not. As a result
, some children are ashamed, then
they will force their parents to buy that
because of misconceptions Correct pronoun usage
them
of
snacks.
Change preposition
about
Additionally
, the appearance of advertising is
ubiquitous will Correct pronoun usage
that is
also
stimulate consumerism. First of all, the daily life
of individuals will be interrupted by advertisements. To be specific, when they are watching some of the entertainment shows and it is browing
Correct your spelling
boring
so
some people feel it Rephrase
apply
make
them uncomfortable and Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
leading
to losing interest to continue watching. Especially, some advertising will set Wrong verb form
leads
the
non-realistic Correct article usage
apply
of
success and beauty standards. The evidence is the appearance of the Change preposition
apply
Iphone
, which not only attracts customers Correct your spelling
iPhone
due to
the
function but Change the word
its
also
the fashion and luxury for consumers. Finally
, human’s daily ativities
will be changed because of some advertisements on social media platforms.
In conclusion, I do believe that advertising will alter the individual’s awareness and Correct your spelling
activities
has
a negative impact on people’s lives.Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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coherence cohesion
Your essay displays some level of logical structure, however, it could be significantly improved. To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, ensure that your ideas follow a clear and logical sequence. Begin with an introductory paragraph that presents the topic and outlines your stance clearly. Each subsequent paragraph should present a single main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations. Transition words should be used to smoothly link these ideas. Conclude with a paragraph that summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates your position.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but your response can be more complete by avoiding any possible repetition, over-generalizations or statements without clear support. Each paragraph should introduce a clear main idea, followed by an explanation or example that is directly related to the task. Furthermore, make sure your opinion is clearly stated and maintained throughout the essay. You should also strive to be more precise in your argumentation, providing specific examples that are directly tied to the advertising topic to substantiate your viewpoint.