It is generally believed some people are born with certain talents, for instant for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is generally thought that some
people
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born
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are born
show examples
with
God
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God's
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gift in certain things,
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however
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however,
show examples
some
people
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numerous
people
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become better in
such
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quality. In
this
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essay
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essay,
show examples
I will discuss both views and
put
Verb problem
give
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my opinion. To
began
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begin
show examples
,some
people
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become good in many
field
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fields
show examples
like sports and music.
Firstly
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, when a
person
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practice
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practices
show examples
many
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many time he becomes a good
person
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in his field because
,
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apply
show examples
practice
make
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makes
show examples
a man perfect .
For example
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, two to three years before one of my brothers
don't
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didn't
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show good performance in our village
football
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due to
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lack of enough practice.
Then
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he start working
hardly
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hard
show examples
every day about 3 to 4 hours per day.Now he
have
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has
show examples
some good
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
show examples
in
football
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due to
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his hard
working
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work
show examples
as a result
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he selected
in
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for
show examples
our village
football
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team.
Secondly
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, when a
person
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have
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has
show examples
family
support
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then
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he
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
a good
person
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. Because without family
support
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cannot achieve his big .If parents and family cannot
support
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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child
then
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how he become
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
Player or singer
.
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?
show examples
A survey
lounched
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launched
the government of Pakistan about successful
people
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in Karachi, the result
show
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shows
show examples
that 87
percent
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per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
people
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of people
show examples
successful
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are successful
show examples
due to
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
parents
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parent's
parents'
show examples
support
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.
In
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On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand,some
people
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are born
many
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with many
show examples
skills.
Firstly
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,their mind is good
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as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result they become good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
sports and music.
Secondly
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,
there
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their
show examples
physical style is fit with certain activities.
For instance
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, sometimes a
person
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
good skills in cricket but not in
football
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. To
Correct your spelling
conclude
concude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, it seems to me that it is
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
process anyone can't buy
this
Linking Words
Submitted by Abidhussainabid753 on

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Task Achievement
Task Achievement: You attempted to address the prompt, but your response is underdeveloped and lacks elaboration. Ensure that both views and your own opinion are fully expressed and expanded upon with clear, specific arguments and examples. Strive to provide a complete and in-depth discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates issues with clarity and logical sequencing. Make use of clear paragraphing with each paragraph presenting a central idea, supported by cohesive devices. Check for frequent spelling and grammar errors, which hinder coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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