Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The modern world, driven by accelerated technological advancements has prioritised the use of devices among children rather than reading
books
. Certain people assume that the trend might be positive
while
others presume that
this
could be a potential problem. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both circumstances and will slightly lean on that
books
are more important than
technology
. On one hand,
technology
helps to accumulate knowledge regarding various topics within a few seconds. The
information
could be readily available to access and could help kids to retrieve
information
in an efficient manner.
For example
, Google helps to find many articles regarding a topic instantly for anyone.
In addition
, the communication systems that help to transmit
information
between the educator and the children help to save time
while
solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems.
However
, spending a long time in front of screens is harmful to the eyes and discerning between correct and incorrect
information
might lead to early age internal conflicts.
On the other hand
, reading completes a human. The
books
are carefully edited to provide the right
information
without unnecessary distractions from the internet
such
as advertisements or visiting unwanted websites in between reading. Reading
books
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
memory retention, focus and comprehensive skills which will have long-term benefits.
In addition
, their reading sessions cannot be tracked by advertising companies to manipulate them into their vicious marketing cycles . In conclusion, adapting to
technology
is really necessary in the modern world
while
the time spent on
technology
should be limited and supervised reading
books
should be highly encouraged to build up an efficient and distraction-free society.
Submitted by onlineconsumer on

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task achievement
Provide more detailed and varied examples to support your points. This could enhance the strength of your arguments and demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph fully addresses just one main idea. The conclusion could more strongly restate the main points of the essay to consolidate your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion. This is commendable as it shows a thorough understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with each paragraph flowing naturally from one to the next. The introduction clearly sets the stage, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interactivity
  • multimedia resources
  • educational apps
  • global connectivity
  • imagination
  • critical thinking
  • attention span
  • concentration
  • vocabulary depth
  • literary knowledge
  • cultural awareness
  • digital literacy
  • conventional reading
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