IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree.

#crime #rate #advance #technology
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There is a school of
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
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thoughts
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thought
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Correct pronoun usage
that
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who
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that
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believes
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believe
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believes
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 that the crime rate is reducing nowadays as compared to
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the past
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past
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the past
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 just because of
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advanced
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advance
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advanced
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technology
 which can not only act as
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a preventer
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preventer
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a preventer
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 but
aslo
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also
 resolve
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apply
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the
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apply
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pending cases. As my
view point
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viewpoint
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 is concerned,
i
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I
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 totally disagree with
above
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the above
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 notion. To start with , numerous factors can be noticed
that
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in
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 how AI give birth to new illegal
activities
. Tendency of criminal
activities
 or criminal minds has increased after the revolution in the field of
technology
,
consider
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considered
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 as the root cause. As ,in modern
society
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society,
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 most of the crimes are committed by individuals with mental efforts rather than physical efforts.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted in U.K revealed that around 67% of the illegal
activities
 were committed by
those
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apply
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individuals who were
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experts
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expert
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experts
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 in the field of
technology
.
Hence
 , advancement
aslo
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also
put
Verb problem
apply
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contribution
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contributes
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 to
raise
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raising
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 the crime rate . Moving forward,
although
 the introduction of
cctv
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CCTV
 cameras was based on security purposes
but
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apply
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now criminals use
this facility
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these facilities
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 to target
the
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apply
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victims. To
clear more
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clarify
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, around 43%
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of case
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case
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cases
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heard
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are heard
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 by people on
regular
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a regular
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 basis related to misuse of the hidden camera like shoot out of inappropriate videos of women and girls which spoil their whole
life
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lives
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 or
career
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careers
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.
Instead
 of
this
, social media, the
poplar
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popular
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 mode of
technology
,sometimes
spread
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spreads
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 false information
in
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to
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 the public which leads to conflicts or disputes between people .
In addition
 , the cases of cyber crime like hackers can easily hack any system,
account
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or account
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 within a minute just by using tricks ,
aslo
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also
 increased
upto
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up to
 55 %
than
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in
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 gone days . In fact , after the introduction of AI , it becomes easier for
the
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apply
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criminals to
stole
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steal
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 the personal data of anyone which leads to
major
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a major
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 loss.
To conclude
,
although
technology
 has made
humans
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human
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 life more easier and convenient
but
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apply
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on the other hand
 in the case of criminal
activities
, it proved as the root cause of many illegal
activities
.
Submitted by amansharmaaa0000 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but the argument is not fully developed. To improve task achievement, ensure to provide a balanced perspective and explore both sides of the argument thoroughly. Additionally, aim for a more complete response by clearly outlining your position throughout the essay as well as in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent logical structure. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next. Utilize cohesive devices effectively to create a seamless connection between points. Aim to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with topic sentences, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance cameras
  • advanced security systems
  • potential criminals
  • law enforcement
  • AI (artificial intelligence)
  • big data analytics
  • forensic science
  • public awareness
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • crime prevention
  • crime rates
  • counterargument
  • cybercrime
  • technological misconduct
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