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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
#travellers #three #airports #york #city
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The bar chart illustrates information about the amount of visitors in three airports in New York in
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
five-year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
. The size of
people
Use synonyms
 is measured in millions per year.
Overall
Linking Words
, as it can be seen the number of
people
Use synonyms
 in Newark and LaGuardia had a substantial growth during the
period
Use synonyms
 given.
However
Linking Words
, the volume of passengers in John F. Kennedy fluctuated. In detail, LaGuardia had the highest amount of passengers in the
period
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 and started from about 35
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in 1995 and reached a peak in 2000 of 69
million
Use synonyms
,
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. The same
tednency
Correct your spelling
tendency
 can be found in Newark, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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began from 15
million
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 in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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almost doubled in 1997 with a slight rise
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 John F. Kennedy fluctuated significantly and started from 25
million
Use synonyms
 in 1995,
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reached a peak in 1997 of about 48
million
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.
Than
Replace the word
Then
show examples
 it fell to 31
million
Use synonyms
 in 1999 with a jump in 2000 for about 10
million
Use synonyms
 visitors.
Submitted by roker123456 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, people, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant increase
  • highest number
  • steady increase
  • largest growth
  • dramatic
  • slowest growth
  • slight decrease
  • gradual increase
  • period
  • travelers
  • major airports
  • followed by
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