IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Mrs. Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. write a letter to Mrs. barrettes your letter suggest how you could help her in her home Say why you would like to do this work Explain when you will and will not be available

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Dear Mrs. Barrett, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter with reference to the advertisement that someone needs help in your home for a few hours daily next summer.
Moreover
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, I would like to help with your daily routine and household chores
such
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 as sweeping, cleaning, baking snacks, washing the car, shopping for necessary items and so on. I would like to do
this
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 job because currently I am doing my major at the University of Toronto and will have 3 months vacation period in the coming summer.
Therefore
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 I am interested in utilizing the by working and making money that will cover my tuition fees.
Furthermore
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, I need to clarify the working time period, I prefer the morning hour to working with you and will plan in th e evening time to do my assignments and paperwork.
Hence
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 if there are any changes on certain days , you can contact me and contact details are included in the attached resume with
this
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 letter. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Katty Smith

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task achievement
Ensure your letter addresses all parts of the task fully. The paragraph about your availability was left incomplete, which affects the completeness of the response.
task achievement
Maintain a formal tone throughout the letter that is suitable for the context. The tone of the letter is mostly appropriate.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your letter in clear paragraphs, each containing a single main idea or theme. Avoid abruptly ending paragraphs, as seen in the availability section.
coherence and cohesion
Use connectors and transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring the text is cohesive and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
A formal letter should have both a proper opening and a closing. Maintain this in your letter and ensure no abrupt endings in your paragraphs.
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