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Band 5

Some people think that printed books are no longer needed in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books will still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #books #era #role
At present, with the development of technology, some
people
 think printed
books
 can be phased out in the digital era. All
people
 need is just electronic
storage
.
However
, other
people
 think printed
books
also
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a significant role. In my opinion, printed
books
 can not be phased out, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will play an important role in our learning life. Electronic
storage
 has a plethora of benefits.
Firstly
, it is more convenient to read
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with paper
books
. In current society,
people
 usually just download an application, and
then
 they can enjoy the reading whenever and wherever. Applications are known for their enormous
storage
,
such
 as thousands of novels or
books
 in one application.
This
 means that
people
 do not need to carry loads of
books
 when they travel on a train, which could reduce
people
’s burden.
Secondly
, it welcomes
environmental
Change the word
environmentally
show examples
 friendly and highly
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
, because it saves a lot of trees.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 it is easily stored,
not
Correct word choice
and not
show examples
 likely to be destroyed by some accidents,
such
 as
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
,
windstorm
Fix the agreement mistake
windstorms
show examples
, and so on. As for printed
books
, the
books
 could be handed from one generation to the next generation. Very valuable for preservation and commemoration.
Moreover
, for some
books
, they are worthy to be kept for historical meaning.
Also
, for some children, printed
books
 are good for their learning
instead
 of electronic
storage
books
. The reason is good for their eyesight. In conclusion, printed
books
 will still play an important role in future. The digital era still requires printed
books
, and e-
books
 can not replace them.
Submitted by 842623369 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure by using cohesive devices effectively throughout the essay. Paragraphs should all be logically connected and ideas within paragraphs clearly linked.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay. Both sections should clearly address the essay prompt and your conclusion should restate your position effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. While you have supported your main points, providing more detailed illustrations will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Cover all parts of the task and ensure that your response is complete. Address both views presented in the prompt thoroughly and make your own opinion clear.
task achievement
Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Clarity can be improved by proof-reading your essay to catch any errors in grammar or vocabulary use.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to underpin your arguments. Examples should be detailed and directly related to the point they support.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized access
  • carry thousands of books in a single device
  • eliminating the need for physical storage space
  • environmentally friendly
  • reduce the carbon footprint
  • adjustable font sizes
  • integrated dictionaries
  • enhance the reading experience
  • tangible experience
  • distinct smell of paper
  • do not rely on electronic devices
  • battery life or device malfunctions
  • perception of greater legitimacy and trustworthiness
  • academic circles
  • extensive reading materials
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