Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places

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With the target of renovating the faces of

cities

, the government has decided to financially invest in

art works

Correct your spelling

artworks

show examples

. These contributions have made significant improvements to many

cities

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be a worthy place to live.

However

, whether its necessity is still controversial in different aspects. On the one hand, the creation of artistic paintings &

statues

Correct word choice

and statues

show examples

will certainly have a positive effect on tourism. Especially with historical

cities

, these would bring a new breeze to its tourist destination which can easily become popular as an alluring spot. The

cities

would visually become a perfect place to live and to be spent for. Educating and raising awareness of local people on artistic knowledge are

also

feasible purposes of

this

renovation. In many developing countries, mainly in East Asia area, art subject has not been

considering

Wrong verb form

considered

show examples

enough because of

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system and average income,

as a result

this

, locals never have

actual

Add an article

an actual

show examples

chance to get to know paintings in person. Without a doubt, the advantages of putting

art works

Correct your spelling

artworks

show examples

into reality are foreseeable for both locals and tourists.

On the other hand

, the question should be informed in advance for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

is that whether

this

is an excellent choice. Financial investment &

renovation

Correct word choice

and renovation

show examples

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

which are spent for the reconstruction and creation cost huge and could be out of budget with many developing countries or small countries.

Besides

, fixing would

also

come with environmental harm if plans are not considered deliberately enough. The qualifications of experienced staff and experts

involving

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

in the projects should be a concern as

this

might leave a burden

Change preposition

show examples

quality

Correct article usage

the quality

show examples

outcome

Add an article

the outcome

show examples

Along with

the renovation, many historical buildings would be replaced or even ruined by new projects which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

still under-promising. In conclusion, any

renovating

Replace the word

renovation

show examples

proposals should be discussed prudently in both financial and potential aspects. The effect of goals is obvious;

however

; general consideration can lessen the unworthy consequences.

Submitted by minhphi236 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt consistently throughout the essay. While your response covers the topic, it could be more focused on the specific issue of government funding for art in cities.

coherence cohesion

For a higher score, work on using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will help make the essay easier to follow and understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why this is the case? What can be done about this p

Cars have become convenient and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created and offer some practical solutions.