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Band 3.5

The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problems in cities is to encourage people to move from the suburbs or country into the city center. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #pollution #cities #people #move #suburbs #country #city #center
Big
cities
 are all about crowded streets, tall buildings, and a constant hum of life. Undoubtedly,
people
 relocate because there is a plethora of opportunities in the
cities
 compared to suburbs or rural areas but
this
 huge influx has caused rising concerns
such
 as traffic congestion and increased pollution in the
cities
. The proponents believe,
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
 encouraging
people
 to move from
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
 to the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 could help curb pollution and traffic congestion.
This
 is because the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has better commutation facilities,
infrastructure
 and public transport system.
In contrast
, the
critiques
Replace the word
critics
show examples
 of the idea perceive it differently and they argue that the existing
infrastructure
 of the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has its capacity limitations and
over burdening
Correct your spelling
overburdening
show examples
 it would be counterproductive. They
further
 suggest investing in expanding the road network, improving
infrastructure
, providing access to subsidized public transport system, encouraging car-pooling services etcetera would be a much better and permanent solution to the aforementioned problem.
In addition
 to that, if the government ensures
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of modern amenities and creates employment opportunities for the
people
 living in suburbs / rural areas, it would minimize the need for them to relocate
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thus
, significantly reducing the huge influx of
people
 into the
cities
. In conclusion,
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
show examples
 study with extensive urban planning is required to address and mitigate
such
 issues. Concrete steps must be taken
such
 as uplifting the lifestyle of suburban residents and investing in
city
infrastructure
 would prove to be fruitful in the long run.
Submitted by Hassan Alavi on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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