The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #years

The charts illustrate gadgets which were used by young minds to watch

in Canada in a decade from 2009 to 2019.

Overall

, what can be visible from the graph is that conventional

users experienced a downward trend

while

flat screen

Add a hyphen

flat-screen

show examples

consumer

Fix the agreement mistake

consumers

show examples

witnessed an upward trend. Another interesting feature is that in a decade the number of mobile phone and tablet watchers increased whilst laptop and desktop computer viewers decreased. Looking into the details of watchers,

2009

Change preposition

in 2009

show examples

and 2019 the share of flat screen viewers

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

8% and 27% respectively.

Similarly

Add a comma

Similarly,

show examples

the usage of conventional

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

the top method in 2009 that accounted for 34% (more than a third)

whereas

in 2019 only utilized

this

equipment in

moderate

Correct article usage

a moderate

show examples

amount (4%, less than one in twenty). Moving to the data of consumers which can be

Submitted by oktamovasarvinoz22 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

139 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe, the unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood of teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?