Nowadays people move from one country to another for work Some people think children of these families suffer because of this while others think it is helpful for them Discuss views and give your opinion

Workless
Replace the word
Worklessness
show examples
is make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
several
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
move to another country in today's world. But
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
statments
Correct your spelling
statements
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
Change preposition
to defferent
show examples
defferent
Correct your spelling
different
ideas for
people
about
it's
Correct word choice
whether it's
show examples
helpful or not for their
children
. In my view indeed workless is
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
and another
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reason is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of salaries for their
children
and families On the one hand in my opinion some
people
think right, because their
whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
children
are miss
Change the verb form
miss
show examples
them namely their
children
although
men
are go
Change the verb form
go
show examples
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
country than women. It is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their
encourage
Replace the word
encouragement
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
interview
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
shown by
jurnalists
Correct your spelling
journalists
on TV yesterday. It is very
unpleasan
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
for
people
.
Then
again
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
is not long as some
people
think. They spend their
life
in
dark
Add an article
the dark
show examples
without
father
Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
show examples
and without
children
. On
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand
Add a comma
,
show examples
several
people
believe that it is good for
children
and their
life
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the future Because they will grow up without trouble and any
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
when their parents
work
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their studies and it
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
matter for
life
despite
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
far.
Then
their
children
will not
work
like themselves. So
Children
have got their good
work
in the future. For
Correct your spelling
instance
Correct your spelling
instance
insteance
Add a comma
insteance,
show examples
a person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
worked
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad a lot but he is very old and he and his
cheldren
Correct your spelling
children
have got enough
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunaties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to make everything
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for his
children
are
luckly
Correct your spelling
luckily
lucky
. In conclusion
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
should
work
despite
Change preposition
in
show examples
places
Correct article usage
the places
show examples
.
However
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
say that the person should
wok
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
with
break
Add an article
a break
the break
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
agan
Correct your spelling
again
they claim that
Work
time is normal 8 hours for
eldest
Correct article usage
the eldest
show examples
. Shodiyeva Mohinur
Submitted by gulnozashermatovna0225 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity with multiple grammar errors and sentence fragments that make it difficult to understand. Introduction and conclusion are not clearly distinguished. Make sure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and your thesis statement, as well as a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the arguments are not fully developed, and there is a lack of relevant supporting examples. Focus on fully developing your arguments with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and supporting them with specific examples or data.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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