Nowadays people move from one country to another for work Some people think children of these families suffer because of this while others think it is helpful for them Discuss views and give your opinion

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Introduction

Workless

Replace the word

Worklessness

show examples

is make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

several

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

move to another country in today's world. But

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

statments

Correct your spelling

statements

appears

Correct subject-verb agreement

appear

show examples

Change preposition

to defferent

show examples

defferent

Correct your spelling

different

ideas for

people

Use synonyms

about

it's

Correct word choice

whether it's

show examples

helpful or not for their

children

Use synonyms

. In my view indeed workless is

reason

Correct article usage

the reason

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

and another

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

reason is

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of salaries for their

children

Use synonyms

and families

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand in my opinion some

people

Use synonyms

think right, because their

whose

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

are miss

Change the verb form

miss

show examples

them namely their

Body paragraph 2

children

Use synonyms

although

Linking Words

men

are go

Change the verb form

show examples

another

Change preposition

to another

show examples

country than women. It is harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their

encourage

Replace the word

encouragement

show examples

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

Change the article

show examples

interview

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

shown by

jurnalists

Correct your spelling

journalists

on TV yesterday. It is very

unpleasan

Correct your spelling

unpleasant

for

people

Use synonyms

Then

Linking Words

again

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

is not long as some

people

Use synonyms

think. They spend their

life

Use synonyms

dark

Add an article

the dark

show examples

without

father

Fix the agreement mistake

fathers

show examples

and without

children

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 3

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand

Add a comma

show examples

several

people

Use synonyms

believe that it is good for

children

Use synonyms

and their

life

Use synonyms

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

in the future Because they will grow up without trouble and any

challanges

Correct your spelling

challenges

when their parents

work

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

their studies and it

doesnt

Correct your spelling

doesn't

matter for

life

Use synonyms

despite

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

far.

Then

Linking Words

their

children

Use synonyms

will not

work

Use synonyms

like themselves. So

Children

Use synonyms

have got their good

work

Use synonyms

in the future. For

Correct your spelling

instance

Correct your spelling

instance

insteance

Add a comma

insteance,

show examples

a person

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

worked

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad a lot but he is very old and he and his

cheldren

Correct your spelling

children

have got enough

Correct your spelling

opportunities

opportunaties

Correct your spelling

opportunities

to make everything

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for his

children

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 4

are

luckly

Correct your spelling

luckily

lucky

Body paragraph 5

In conclusion

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

should

work

Use synonyms

despite

Change preposition

show examples

places

Correct article usage

the places

show examples

However

Linking Words

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

show examples

say that the person should

wok

Correct your spelling

work

show examples

with

break

Add an article

a break

the break

show examples

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

agan

Correct your spelling

again

they claim that

Work

Use synonyms

time is normal 8 hours for

eldest

Correct article usage

the eldest

show examples

Conclusion

Shodiyeva Mohinur

gulnozashermatovna0225

Dec 14, 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clarity with multiple grammar errors and sentence fragments that make it difficult to understand. Introduction and conclusion are not clearly distinguished. Make sure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and your thesis statement, as well as a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.

task achievement

The essay partially addresses the task, but the arguments are not fully developed, and there is a lack of relevant supporting examples. Focus on fully developing your arguments with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and supporting them with specific examples or data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

move abroad
suffer
feel lonely
new environment
language barrier
make friends
miss family
adapt to change
better opportunities
open-minded
life skills
self-confidence
support from parents
education system
cultural experience

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Nowadays people move from one country to another for work Some people think children of these families suffer because of this while others think it is helpful for them Discuss views and give your opinion

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people think that to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should live in cities, instead of the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?