Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions?

#people #school #attitude #happen

In modern times, people attempt to attend

school

However

, a significant ratio of

students

tend to have a negative attitude toward education.

This

essay aims to show the cause of

this

phenomenon and how it affects the future. Many young people drop out of

school

with a pessimistic attitude towards learning. Nowadays, the youngster is acquiring certifications to increase their chances of being hired by a big company. The examinations are more competitive and challenging

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

students

feel stressed and unmotivated.

In addition

, they have to endure the pressure from their parents. Most parents want their children to be doctors or lawyers so that they are suppressed from studying hard and getting high scores. Unfortunately,

this

led

students

to leave

school

and have a negative outlook

Change preposition

show examples

studying. To tackle these problems, it is suggested that there are some solutions.

First,

parents need to stop pressuring their children to do things they are not interested in.

Instead

, they should encourage

students

to learn at

school

and share their feelings with them to have a better understanding of each other. During the lessons, not only teach about the lectures but

also

attach mini-games to motivate

students

This

method helps

students

retain lessons better and increases interest in subjects. In brief,

although

the percentage of scholars who quit

school

with a negative attitude is still increasing slightly, there are some solutions to improve

this

situation

Submitted by baochaungoisao on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a basic logical structure, but it is somewhat fragmented and lacks clear progression of ideas. Introduction and conclusion are present but not fully developed. Main points are supported, yet the support could be more substantial and persuasive.

task achievement

The response only partially covers the task, addressing the causes and solutions; however, these need to be expanded upon to fully satisfy the requirements. Ideas are clear but not adequately comprehensive, lacking detail and depth. Examples provided are relevant but not sufficiently specific or elaborated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

233 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

In spite of techological advancement made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal ,oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way Why is this, Do you think it is a positive or negative development?