IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

#people #city #homes #spaces #areas #development
In today’s life, a large number of
people
 tend to move to the city to study, live, and work.
Along with
 that, there is a new trend appearing that
people
 started getting used to living in homes with narrow
spaces
 or having no outdoor areas. One huge debate surrounding the notion of
this
 problem is whether it is a good improvement or not. From my point of view, I suppose that
this
 is
such
 a negative development, so
this
 essay will look at my standpoint on the problem.
Firstly
, living in narrow
spaces
 or no outdoor areas harms
people
’s health.
This
 is
due to
 the lack of space in the home and fresh air, which leads to many
people
 living in limited
spaces
 often face up with more problems related to health than those in open
spaces
.
Moreover
, it results from that
people
 have limited space to exercise or do anything else to enhance their health.
Secondly
, it can be challenging for us to be sociable with others.
Submitted by qynguyen2261997 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs including an introduction and a conclusion. Develop a central idea in each paragraph and use cohesive devices to link ideas across the essay.
coherence cohesion
Extend and support main points with relevant examples or explanations. Each paragraph should elaborate on one main idea and provide evidence or examples to support it.
task achievement
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly state your position and extend your ideas to cover all aspects of the prompt, including implications, comparisons, or solutions, as appropriate.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by exploring them in depth. Provide specific examples and details to clarify your points and ensure that your ideas are communicated clearly and effectively to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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