The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

#diagrams #show #site #school #plan #changes

The map below illustrates the location of schools in 2004 and the program for changes that have been considered until 2024. It can be seen that

Remove the comma

apply

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the most significant changes would be

added

Wrong verb form

adding

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another

school

building and

second

Correct article usage

a second

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parking lot.

Also

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Also,

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the changes exceeded the student's attendance in 2024. In 2004, the proportion of students were 600 and there were two

school

buildings where

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different

Add an article

a different

the different

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side of the path.

also

, there

were

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was

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

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field building

at the end

of the route connected to the main entrance where there was a parking lot next to it. In 2024, the population of pupils is anticipated to reach 1000 through the replacement

sport

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sports

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field building with the third

school

building. Original buildings will be

joint

Correct your spelling

joined

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together and connected with the new building through a path. The second parking lot will be constructed that would connect the main gate with a road which is behind the

school

building 2 and There would be

Correct article usage

a sport

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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field across that road next to the car park 2 which caused some deforestation.

Submitted by jpmahshid on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

176 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

It has been observed that in many countries notenoughstudentsarechoosingto studyscience subjects at university. What do you think are the causes of the problem? What are the effects on society

Traffic jam is increasing, what are the causes and solution?

You would like to invite your friend from abroad to a public event in your country. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, - Invite him/her to the event - Explain why you think he/she would like the event - Tell him/her about the other activities you can do.