IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the comming of new mass communication media like tv and internet,newspaper is losing it's importance. Do you agree with this or not ?

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Nowadays , technology is more and more developing,
Linking Words
due
Correct word choice
and due
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 to
this
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 the
impotence
Correct your spelling
importance
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 of
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 is decreasing . I Completely agree with
this
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 Statement. My explanations are elaborated
in
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on in
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 the upcoming paragraphs There are
number
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a number
the number
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 of
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
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 which are Supported my position. First and foremost one is that
people
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 do not have enough time to read
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newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
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.
This
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 is because they have two or three jobs;
thesefore
Correct your spelling
therefore
, when they are rising in the morning,
then
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 they immediately go their work after breakfast.So they do not have time to read
news
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Use synonyms
paper
Fix the agreement mistake
papers
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,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result, they would prefer to read from online platforms during their travelling hours.
Moreover
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,
due to
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 technological advancement. To illustrate,in recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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,it
is
Verb problem
has
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 effortlessly
acces
Correct your spelling
accessed
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology.And most of the inhabitants have knowledge about that.So it is very convenient to read
Use synonyms
news
Correct your spelling
newspaper
show examples
Use synonyms
paper
Fix the agreement mistake
papers
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 on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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Besides
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this
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,
people
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 get
news
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 from
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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 or radio.
This
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 is to say that, those who are not interested
to read
Change preposition
in reading
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news
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
paper
Fix the agreement mistake
papers
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,
then
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 they are likely to watch on television
as well as
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listening
Wrong verb form
listen
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from
Change preposition
to
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radio
Add an article
the radio
a radio
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.So that it is very easy to get
news
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.
Conversely
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, they can watch
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
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 on television
on
Change preposition
in
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Add an article
the audio
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audio visual
Add a hyphen
audio-visual
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 form.
In addition
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, it is beneficial for highlights readers.To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, a majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 do not read
whole
Add an article
the whole
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news
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,they always prefer
highlights
Correct article usage
the highlights
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 of
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news
Correct article usage
the news
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. So it is beneficial to read highlights on
World
Correct article usage
the World
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 Wide Web.
To conclude
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, it can be stated that segments of society would prefer to read
news
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Use synonyms
paper
Fix the agreement mistake
papers
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 online and
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
,losing
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 relevance. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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are
Wrong verb form
will be
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 extinct in
near
Correct article usage
the near
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 future
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because there are so many technological developments,
people
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 will
be have
Change the verb form
have
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 more hectic schedules,
as well as
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 like to read
highlights
Correct article usage
the highlights
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 of the
newspaper
Use synonyms
.

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introduction conclusion present
You should ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion did not adequately bookend the discussion, and more direct statements of your viewpoint in these sections could strengthen your essay.
logical structure
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on creating well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences that express the main idea followed by supporting sentences. It is crucial to use connecting words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs, as well as to ensure that the essay progresses logically from one point to the next.
supported main points
In terms of supporting your main points, it is important to develop your ideas more fully with specific examples, facts, or data to back them up. This adds weight to your arguments and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
complete response
Your essay answered the question but did so without sufficient development of ideas or exemplification. Aim to provide a more nuanced perspective by discussing both sides of the argument (where applicable) and giving examples that illustrate your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Thoughts seemed jumbled or incomplete in places. A well-structured argument or point of view should flow smoothly and be understandable to the reader.
relevant specific examples
Incorporating relevant and specific examples strengthens the credibility of your arguments. Try to include examples that are directly related to your topic and clearly support your key points.
What to do next:
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