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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Why some people argue that the use of animals in medical research for the benefit of human?

#people #animals #research #benefit
The use of
animals
 for
humans’
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human’
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 benefits has been greatly discussed nowadays. There is a group of people that defend the idea of
human’s
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human
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 hierarchy, but there is
also
 an
increasingly
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increasing
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 group advocating for the protection of the rights of
animals
. A few years ago, we would not see as many people arguing in favour of
animals
’ rights as we see nowadays, and we can see the theme being very present and active
specially
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especially
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 on social media. Defending the use of
animals
 for
human’s
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human
show examples
benefits
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benefit
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 is basically saying that their lives
worth
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are worth
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 less than ours. Only from that point of view is possible to find an explanation for animal testing,
for example
,
specially
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especially
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 when we are talking about a range of
non vital
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non-vital
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 products like beauty care. The main argument used by the opposite group is that humans’ lives are not superior to any other species of life, and so we do not have the right
of managing
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to manage
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 those innocent beings and
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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 with their health and life. The proposed solution given by the animal’s protectors, when talking about laboratory tests
for
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, for
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 example, is to test products on humans since they will be aware of the conditions and able to agree with the procedures. Being an animal lover, I am definitely inclined to support the second group’s ideas.
However
, even trying to do my best to protect
animal’s
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animal
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 rights I see myself in the middle of these two extreme groups
,
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apply
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 since I still cannot see the world working without any use of
animals
 for
human’s
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human
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 benefit. And I know
this
 is a long road we all have yet to go.
Submitted by ionyourenglish on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear introductive paragraph that introduces the topic and gives a brief outline of the points to be discussed. The main body should present arguments with supporting evidence, followed by a conclusion that summarises the discussion and presents your stance clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and the points are presented in a mostly systematic way, however, try to use more cohesive devices and transitions to make the relationship between ideas smoother and more explicit. This will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While some main points are supported, the essay would benefit significantly from the addition of specific, relevant examples to illustrate and strengthen the arguments being made. Include studies, statistics, or real-world instances where applicable.
task achievement
Your task response is somewhat complete, but it lacks a clear positioning statement at the beginning and does not fully address the prompt's counter-arguments. The essay should explicitly state the discussion points and explore the opposing views in detail to fully meet the requirements of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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