We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

many
people
hold the view that we cannot support everyone in the world
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
needs help, so we should focus on
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in our communities
anh
Correct your spelling
and
countries. Personally, I totally disagree with
this
view because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that we should try to help as many
people
as
possiable
Correct your spelling
possible
. on the one hand, it is important to help our neighbours and citizens. In most communities, there are
people
who are impoverished or disadvantaged.
for example
, in even the wealthiest of cities, we find easily homeless
people
, so many
volunteer
Change to a plural noun
volunteers
show examples
help us
to give
Change preposition
by giving
show examples
money, food or
clother
Correct your spelling
clothes
clothing
, to support these
people
. As the problems are on our doorstep, and there are obvious ways to help, I can understand why some
people
feel that we should prioritise local charity.
on the other hand
, the vision could be a big problem in the future.
That is
because a rich country can have a very good
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
need integration to improve between different
national
Replace the word
nations
show examples
.
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
the war between
russia
Change the capitalization
Russia
show examples
and
ukraine
Change the capitalization
Ukraine
show examples
, and many
people
from Ukraine are in a dramatic situation in my opinion any community could not support these refugees. in conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that any community should help as we cannot know what will
pass
Verb problem
happen
show examples
in the future and if we will need other areas. and everybody should receive another opportunity if he or she has any problem.
furthermore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that some societies have the possibility to be in solidarity with other areas.
Submitted by nguyenthithuytrangvn2019 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Support the main points with specific examples and explanations that are directly related to the question prompt.
task achievement
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task achievement
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
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