Some people say that advertisement targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisement as a solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
There is a discussion among people that they
belive
banning some advertisements is the only answer which impacts youngsters in Correct your spelling
believe
a
wrong direction. In Correct article usage
the
this
essay I filrmy
agree with the statement for many reasons, which will be explained in detail with relevant examples.
Correct your spelling
firmly
filmy
Firstly
, Adds
play a key role in society in many Correct your spelling
Ads
number of
ways targeting all age groups including Correct quantifier usage
apply
kids
. Ther
are ample advertisements with good and clear Correct your spelling
There
message
, Fix the agreement mistake
messages
there
are few which mislead humans in a negative direction specifically targeting Correct word choice
but there
kids
. Children are most attracted to these posters around them and start thinking of these colourful-adds
to understand the hidden meaning in Correct your spelling
colourful ads
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, they are not grown up to understand but they continue to think about it in their minds and disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
with
their friends. Correct pronoun usage
it with
This
ends up effecting
them in a false direction and Correct your spelling
affecting
this
should be avoided by banning these posters permenantly
which Correct your spelling
permanently
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
negative
impact on Add an article
a negative
kids
.
On the other hand
, Some Companies attract kids
with their products with
wall posters or Change preposition
through
by
television media showing Change preposition
through
advantages
they provide and Correct article usage
the advantages
fool
children Replace the word
fooling
by
false advertising. products include Change preposition
with
vedio
-games, Correct your spelling
video
Mobile-phones
Correct your spelling
mobile phones
and
etc, Correct word choice
apply
target
Replace the word
targeting
young-generations
as their main source of income and Correct your spelling
young generations
get
profit by selling them easily. Wrong verb form
getting
For instance
, a
research shows that education purpose Tablet Remove the article
apply
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
initially
have
very low sales at their Wrong verb form
had
begining
days. Later they Correct your spelling
beginning
had
extended Unnecessary verb
apply
it's
Replace the word
its
feauters
for playing games and other fun applications and Correct your spelling
features
targetted
youngsters with their Correct your spelling
targeted
campigns
and other sources of Correct your spelling
campaigns
adds
and Correct your spelling
ads
kids
eventually tought
they Correct your spelling
taught
thought
can
use Wrong verb form
could
this
for both purpose
but ended up wasting their precious time playing in it rather Change to a plural noun
purposes
studying
. Correct word choice
than studying
Thus
this
is one of the major problems how
children are diverted in Change preposition
in how
a
wrong path.
Correct article usage
the
To conclude
, Kids
are not developed to
understand and choose between a good and bad theme adds, Rephrase
enough to
Moreover
they get easily attarcted
to Correct your spelling
attracted
the
advertisements which impact their Correct article usage
apply
mind
in a negative way.Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Submitted by bntvo4 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your score in the logical structure aspect of coherence and cohesion, you should focus on creating clearer, more logical transitions between ideas. Use linking words effectively and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Avoid abrupt changes in topic and make sure all parts of your essay are connected in a logical sequence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but they could be strengthened. Make sure your introduction clearly sets out the topic of the essay and your stance on it. In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position. Ensure that the conclusion doesn't introduce new ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
To bolster supported main points, expand on the ideas you present with more detail and depth. Develop each point with specific evidence, and explain how it supports your overall argument. This will strengthen the persuasiveness of your essay and make your points more compelling.
Task Achievement
For a full response to the task, ensure that you answer all parts of the prompt fully. Expand on your reasons for agreeing with the notion of banning advertisements, including discussing any counterarguments and refuting them where applicable. Make your stance clear throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Your ideas could be clearer and more comprehensive. Make sure you explain each point you're making thoroughly, and that your ideas are fully developed before moving on to the next one. This will ensure the reader can follow your argument and understand the reasoning behind your views.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to back up your points. These examples should be detailed and directly related to the argument you're making. The examples you use should also be varied and from reliable sources, to maximize the effectiveness of your essay.
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