Some people say that advertisement targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisement as a solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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There is a discussion among people that they

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

banning some advertisements is the only answer which impacts youngsters in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong direction. In

this

Linking Words

essay I

filrmy

Correct your spelling

firmly

filmy

agree with the statement for many reasons, which will be explained in detail with relevant examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

Adds

Correct your spelling

Ads

show examples

play a key role in society in many

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

ways targeting all age groups including

kids

Use synonyms

Ther

Correct your spelling

There

show examples

are ample advertisements with good and clear

message

Fix the agreement mistake

messages

show examples

there

Correct word choice

but there

show examples

are few which mislead humans in a negative direction specifically targeting

kids

Use synonyms

. Children are most attracted to these posters around them and start thinking of these

colourful-adds

Correct your spelling

colourful ads

show examples

to understand the hidden meaning in

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

However

Linking Words

, they are not grown up to understand but they continue to think about it in their minds and

disscuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

with

Correct pronoun usage

it with

show examples

their friends.

This

Linking Words

ends up

effecting

Correct your spelling

affecting

show examples

them in a false direction and

this

Linking Words

should be avoided by banning these posters

permenantly

Correct your spelling

permanently

which

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on

kids

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Some Companies attract

kids

Use synonyms

with their products

with

Change preposition

through

show examples

wall posters or

Change preposition

through

show examples

television media showing

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

they provide and

fool

Replace the word

fooling

show examples

children

Change preposition

with

show examples

false advertising. products include

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

-games,

Mobile-phones

Correct your spelling

mobile phones

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc,

target

Replace the word

targeting

show examples

young-generations

Correct your spelling

young generations

show examples

as their main source of income and

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

profit by selling them easily.

For instance

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research shows that education purpose Tablet

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

initially

Linking Words

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

very low sales at their

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

days. Later they

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

extended

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

feauters

Correct your spelling

features

for playing games and other fun applications and

targetted

Correct your spelling

targeted

show examples

youngsters with their

campigns

Correct your spelling

campaigns

and other sources of

adds

Correct your spelling

ads

show examples

and

kids

Use synonyms

eventually

tought

Correct your spelling

taught

thought

they

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

use

this

Linking Words

for both

purpose

Change to a plural noun

purposes

show examples

but ended up wasting their precious time playing in it rather

studying

Correct word choice

than studying

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is one of the major problems

how

Change preposition

in how

show examples

children are diverted in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong path.

To conclude

Linking Words

Kids

Use synonyms

are not developed

Rephrase

enough to

show examples

understand and choose between a good and bad theme adds,

Moreover

Linking Words

they get easily

attarcted

Correct your spelling

attracted

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements which impact their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

in a negative way.

bntvo4Thu Dec 14 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve your score in the logical structure aspect of coherence and cohesion, you should focus on creating clearer, more logical transitions between ideas. Use linking words effectively and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Avoid abrupt changes in topic and make sure all parts of your essay are connected in a logical sequence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but they could be strengthened. Make sure your introduction clearly sets out the topic of the essay and your stance on it. In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position. Ensure that the conclusion doesn't introduce new ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

To bolster supported main points, expand on the ideas you present with more detail and depth. Develop each point with specific evidence, and explain how it supports your overall argument. This will strengthen the persuasiveness of your essay and make your points more compelling.

Task Achievement

For a full response to the task, ensure that you answer all parts of the prompt fully. Expand on your reasons for agreeing with the notion of banning advertisements, including discussing any counterarguments and refuting them where applicable. Make your stance clear throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Your ideas could be clearer and more comprehensive. Make sure you explain each point you're making thoroughly, and that your ideas are fully developed before moving on to the next one. This will ensure the reader can follow your argument and understand the reasoning behind your views.

Task Achievement

Include more relevant specific examples to back up your points. These examples should be detailed and directly related to the argument you're making. The examples you use should also be varied and from reliable sources, to maximize the effectiveness of your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

target audience
consumer behavior
materialism
influential
impressionable
regulation
media literacy
advertising campaigns
parental pressure
health implications
psychological impact
economic contribution
cognitive development
ethical marketing
commercial influence

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Some people say that advertisement targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisement as a solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Banking and payment methods. The role of banks in the modern world. Large banks and their work. Working with clients.

In the past peope used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many societies, income inequality has become a pervasive issue with far-reaching consequences. Discuss the causes of income inequality and propose effective solutions to address this challenge. In your essay, consider the impact of educational disparities and the unequal distribution of wealth.

In some countries, university students study near their home and live with their family, while in others students have to study in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?