IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is true that medicines and cosmetic products are tested on
animals
Use synonyms
 before, they are cleared for human use. I would like to write about a few developments
of
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in
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 medicines from animal experimentation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, opponents of
this
Linking Words
 statement,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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strongly believe that
animals
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 have equal rights to live as humans. It is undeniable and
unmoral
Correct your spelling
immoral
 that
using
Wrong verb form
use
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animals
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 for medical research,
moreover
Linking Words
, we give them many diseases because of experiments.
For instance
Linking Words
, we have been using laboratory mice for many
of
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apply
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drugs in order to save
human's
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human
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life
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lives
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 and cure
disease
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diseases
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.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 we are utilizing
animals
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,
such
Linking Words
 as rabbits and apes, for even beauty products which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not essential to human health condition.
Linking Words
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 almost 97
percent
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per cent
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 of
animals
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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died end of the experiment and it is more than 110 million
animals
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 in
year
Add an article
a year
the year
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On the other hand
Linking Words
, supporters of the mentioned practice are convinced that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 could outweigh the concerns. Most importantly, it is true that there are alternative methods of research to replace animal testing, yet they are not reliable.
Additionally
Linking Words
, despite some ethical concerns for
animals
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, a certain amount of suffering can be justified if human lives are saved. Thanks to animal experiments, there are uncountable successful developments in the medical field. In conclusion, experiments
of
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on
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 laboratory
animal
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animals
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 are
unethical
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an unethical
the unethical
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 and cruel thing to all species of
animal
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animals
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.
However
Linking Words
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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are outweighed
Wrong verb form
outweigh
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drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
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 in my view. In
further
Linking Words
, we have to minimize
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
 suffering and testing for these
animals
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 as much as possible.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction that presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay to improve the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more detailed explanations and specific, relevant examples to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Clearly address all parts of the task, ensuring that your opinion is present and well-supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
Clarify and expand ideas with specific explanations that consistently support the main argument of the essay.
task achievement
Include and elaborate on specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic to fully meet the task requirements.
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