IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Modern medical science has made it possible to combat many diseases. This is one reason that people are living longer lives now than they did in the past. Discuss the effects this might have on society.

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Improvement
of
Change preposition
in
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 modern
science
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 made our
life
Use synonyms
 more easier than before and it has significant effect on medical
science
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 .
As a result
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, people live longer
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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from
Change preposition
to
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 the past . Now , I will discuss
this
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 statement and give my own opinion.
To begin
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 with , modern medical
science
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 a very crucial and positive on society . Because of
this
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, people can find out everything related to their health, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to maintain
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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.
For example
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, if anyone
take
Change the verb form
takes
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Correct article usage
a diabetics
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diabetics
Replace the word
diabetes
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 test and
know
Change the verb form
knows
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 that his or her
diabetics
Replace the word
diabetes
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 level
Add a missing verb
is hight
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hight
Correct your spelling
high
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.
Then
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, he/she can follow the daily routine
according to
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 their health and
due to
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this
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, he/she will
can
Verb problem
be able to
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 control
this
Linking Words
 disease which was impossible in the past.
In addition
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, advancement in medical
science
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also
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help
Wrong verb form
helped
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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doctors or made their work more handful.
Nevertheless
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, with
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 help
of
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apply
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they can do the surgery more accurately.
For instance
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, research showed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
successful
Add an article
the successful
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 rate
in
Change preposition
of
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 surgery has increased a lot
contrasted
Verb problem
compared
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 to the past, which is because of
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 medical
science
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, every field in our
life
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 has been
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and it has a great impact on social
life
Use synonyms
 . In my opinion, Improvements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 medical
science
Use synonyms
 made our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 much safer and
also
Linking Words
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 the living rate.

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structure
The essay needs a clearer and more developed introduction and conclusion. Make sure your introduction outlines the main points to be discussed, and your conclusion summarizes your arguments and presents your final standpoint.
cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your ideas by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences following it support the main idea. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother and more cohesive.
development
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Make sure to illustrate your arguments with specific, relevant examples to strengthen your essay and to show a deep understanding of the topic.
task response
The essay touches on the relevant points of the prompt but needs to explore the implications more deeply to fully meet the task requirements. Aim to answer all parts of the question and provide a more detailed discussion on the effects on society.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • geriatric medicine
  • chronic conditions
  • retirement age
  • pension payouts
  • caregiving roles
  • assisted living technologies
  • age-related research
  • cultural norms
  • ageism
  • intergenerational relationships
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