Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

in
this
day and age, the urban society
more
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is more
show examples
and more developing and modern. Following to facilities and lifestyle of people are being
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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improve.
However
, with the
developing
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development
show examples
of
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
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each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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been
damage
Wrong verb form
damaged
show examples
to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
will give some
reason
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reasons
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about
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for
show examples
this
problem and offer my own
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
.
To begin
with, there are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a lot of people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
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in
center
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the center
show examples
and move to
city
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the city
show examples
to work and
studies
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study
show examples
. The
lifezone
Correct your spelling
lifeline
life zone
becoming narrow and they are starting some negative
active
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activities
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and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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to
Change preposition
on
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nature.
First,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous
of
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apply
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factories discharge untreated toxins into the river and poison gas not good for heath.
Secondly
, the transport system
appear
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appears
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a
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
in the street because the residents could buy for themself one or two motorbike, even buy cars.
In addition
, people's awareness is very bad, they throw trash arbitrarily and only care about themselves without paying attention to the
environment
around them.
It is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature
is being threaten
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is being threatened
is threatening
show examples
therefore
i
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I
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think that
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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to
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be
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active and give some solutions to protect nature and nurture.
For example
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should establish
Environmental
Correct article usage
an Environmental
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protection association and
organization
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organise
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garbage collection in
area
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the area
show examples
. Everyone must work together and have a positive aware conservation
environment
. In a
nutsell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
, we can say that
environment
is very important, damage or cause bad will be effect nations and lost of
balanced
Change the form of the verb
balance
show examples
. So they are helped by together and save clean.
Submitted by phyeen23 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear, logical structure which makes it difficult to follow the argument. Use clear paragraphing with topic sentences to signal new ideas and organize content logically.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not distinct, and do not clearly set up and summarize the essay's argument. Ensure that you have a concise introduction stating the topic and your thesis, and a distinct conclusion summarizing your main points and re-stating your thesis.
coherence cohesion
While some main points are supported, the development of ideas is not sufficiently clear and detailed. Make sure each paragraph contains one main idea, and expand on it with examples and explanations.
task achievement
The response falls short of addressing all parts of the task. Make sure you directly address all elements of the question: the ways humans damage the environment, what governments and individuals can do.
task achievement
The ideas are somewhat relevant but not clearly expressed or well-developed. Work on expressing your ideas clearly and expand on them so they form a comprehensive response to the question.
task achievement
Specific examples are given but they need to be more developed to support the argument effectively. Use relevant examples to illustrate your points and explain how they are connected to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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