IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

To some people studying the past is the best way to help young people function well in the modern world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures could be effective in helping young people to function well in the modern world?

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Introduction
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 two groups of
people
Use synonyms
 that face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
essue
Correct your spelling
issue
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 two
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 ways.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 group
who bilive
Verb problem
believes
show examples
 that
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 the past is the best way to help young
people
Use synonyms
,
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 the
secend
Correct your spelling
second
 group
who do
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not agree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
.
Body paragraph 1
In my viewpoint, If we guide young
people
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 way, We must consider both ideas of groups.
Body paragraph 2
In fact, I agree with
idea
Add an article
the idea
show examples
 of
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 group
beacuse studing
Correct your spelling
because studying
 history
cused
Wrong verb form
can help
show examples
 to
undrestand
Correct your spelling
understand
 so many problems and
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 that face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future and
also
Linking Words
 will help to thay untill do not repeat
thier
Correct your spelling
their
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, We saw
Correct article usage
the revelotion
show examples
revelotion
Correct your spelling
revolution
revelation
 of France by
people
Use synonyms
 for
achiving freedamn
Correct your spelling
achieving freedom
then
Linking Words
 destroying
impaire
Correct your spelling
impaired
 and changing to
repablic
Correct your spelling
republic
 in the past. After that, As we
abvioused
Correct your spelling
advised
,
Correct article usage
the Revelotion
show examples
Revelotion
Correct your spelling
Revolution
 of
Iranian’s
Change noun form
Iranian
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 1982.
Body paragraph 3
Meanwhile, We can not ignore
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history is written by
victorians
Change the capitalization
Victorians
show examples
 and they
spook
Verb problem
speak
show examples
 about every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
 they
thinked
Correct your spelling
think
 or
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 not
reallity
Correct your spelling
reality
really
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 we have
egucated
Correct your spelling
educated
 history in school and young
people
Use synonyms
 just study the events, Do not
realized
Change the verb form
realize
show examples
 the past.
Body paragraph 4
In addition
Linking Words
,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the modern world has been developed by
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 and young
people
Use synonyms
 need to update
themselvs
Correct your spelling
themselves
 with new problems so they need to
egucation
Correct your spelling
education
 about vast
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 of
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
siences
Correct your spelling
sciences
 and
sotial commiunication
Correct your spelling
social communication
 and
awarnece
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
invirentment
Correct your spelling
environment
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Conclusion
In
conclousion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
Studing
Correct your spelling
Studying
 the past is the one of ways that help young
people
Use synonyms
 to
prepar
Correct your spelling
prepare
 themselves to
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 with new world but
that is
Linking Words
 not enughe only. Actually
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 need to
Add a missing verb
have perfesional
show examples
perfesional
Correct your spelling
professional
egucated
Correct your spelling
educated
 in school and
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their knowlage
show examples
knowlage
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 of
Correct article usage
a verity
show examples
verity
Correct your spelling
variety
show examples
Change preposition
of siences
show examples
siences
Correct your spelling
sciences
espatiolly learne
Correct your spelling
especially learning
appliyed
Correct your spelling
applied
siences
Correct your spelling
sciences
. I think,
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
 these
ways
Add a comma
ways,
show examples
 children improve their skills and will
prepar
Correct your spelling
prepare
 for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and they will have
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 function
against
Change preposition
in
show examples
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world.

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logical structure
Ensure that you structure your essay clearly, consisting of an introduction with a thesis statement, supporting body paragraphs, and a conclusive summary that reaffirms your stance.
introduction conclusion present
Remember to use well-structured sentences and paragraphs, and make certain that each paragraph has a central idea that's expanded upon with supporting details.
supported main points
Your main points should be supported with specific examples or details to strengthen your argument. Avoid general statements that lack depth or clarity.
complete response
Always address the prompt fully by expressing your viewpoint clearly and developing your arguments comprehensively. Missing out on aspects of the task can negatively impact your score.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure clarity in expressing your ideas by using precise language and appropriate vocabulary. Avoid ambiguity and be sure your argument is easily understood by the reader.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, relevant examples to back up your claims. These examples should be clear and directly related to the topic you're discussing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical context
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • informed decisions
  • technological literacy
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse communities
  • mental health resources
  • entrepreneurship
  • innovation
  • problem-solving
  • causation
  • fast-paced
  • function effectively
  • job market
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