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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category
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The bar charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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countries' export in a
veriety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of industries of goods between 2015 and 2016. There are 6 reported categories:
petrolium
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petroleum
products
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, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agricultural
products
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, and
textiles
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. The table illustrates the percentage change in
value
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 in each
categories
Change to a singular noun
category
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 in the same years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of the markets increased in terms of
value
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 except for merely one industry.
The petroleum
Correct article usage
Petroleum
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products
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the most valuable in both
year
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years
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. Even though
,
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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textiles
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the smallest in terms of
value
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 rate of change was the highest among all the industries.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph and the table, the most valuable market was petroleum
products
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 which was at around 60.5 million
dollar
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dollars
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, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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appreciated to approximately 63.5 million
dollar
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dollars
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in
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apply
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a year later. The appreciation
also
Linking Words
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 with engineered goods, agricultural
products
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, and
textiles
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, which the market that
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 in
value
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 the most was
textiles
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(soared by 15.24 per cent).
In contrast
Linking Words
, depreciation occurs with gems and jewellery. It decreased by 5.18 per cent
amking
Correct your spelling
making
 its
value
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 to be approximately 40.18% from 45.36%.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words products, textiles, value with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • trend analysis
  • anomalies
  • percentage change
  • sector analysis
  • global demand
  • domestic production
  • economic conditions
  • technological advancements
  • international regulations
  • economic growth
  • trade relations
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