Teens are forced in their attitudes in few events by their mates.People said that peer pressure is important and other says it has many demerits.To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Youngsters are influenced in their behaviours
in
rare Change preposition
on
occassion
by their peers.A number of individuals argue that peer pressure is crucial Correct your spelling
occasion
occasions
while
other people feel that it has many demerits.If asked, I firmly agree that this
statement has fruitful outcomes than
being disadvantageous and the reason for my perception will be analyzed Rephrase
rather than
further
.
Discussing the merit, the foremost one is the role of self confidence
and Add a hyphen
self-confidence
decision making
process.If juveniles are encouraged by their mates to withstand any obstacles Add a hyphen
decision-making
that
is
bothering them, it makes them Change the verb form
are
to
decide on their own and allows them to indulge in activities Change the verb form
apply
that
is
considered to be useful for them in future.It makes them Change the verb form
are
to
understand how to plan ahead for Change the verb form
apply
unforseeen
circumstances and it portrays a sense ofCorrect your spelling
unforeseen
a
Add a missing verb
being a
resonsible
individual Correct your spelling
responsible
to
the status of Change preposition
for
such
teenager
.Correct article usage
a teenager
For example
, if fellow peers advise thier
mate to learn a skill Correct your spelling
their
such
as barbing and tailoring, it yields little income to them.Therefore
, reducing the cost of being dependent on their parent and being able to be bold and smart.
To add to the mentioned benefit, it makes them to
understand the main trends and behaviours that are unacceptable in the nation.If a youngster Change the verb form
apply
live
in an environment Change the verb form
lives
that
there is no room for law and order because any acts portrayed there is a normal attitude, it makes them Correct word choice
where
to
deviate Change the verb form
apply
the
policies when schooling in an area where rules and Change preposition
from the
reguations
are set in place.With these, Correct your spelling
regulations
such
Correct article usage
an adolesent
adolesent
would be influenced by Correct your spelling
adolescent
his
or Correct pronoun usage
apply
her
fellow colleagues not to Correct pronoun usage
their
pertake
in Correct your spelling
partake
such
acts.They would enlighten him or her about the punishment behing
Correct your spelling
being
behind
such
attitude
and motivate Correct article usage
an attitude
such
person
to become a better Correct article usage
a person
indivudual
in Correct your spelling
individual
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, i
would not overlook the darker side.It is apparent that peer group influence Change the capitalization
I
tempt
an individual to indulge in numerous social vices, Change the verb form
tempts
brings
in low self-esteem and lack of concentration in their academic field.If a student is the most brilliant in the class and other people tend to bully Wrong verb form
bringing
such
person
due to
the achievement of that person
, it result
Change the verb form
results
into
Change preposition
in
self isolation
and sadness.Add a hyphen
self-isolation
Such
teenager
tries to accept anything Correct article usage
a teenager
that is
said by his or her fellow friends in order to build a friend zone with them.There are a plethora of harmful substances that would be initiated to such
person
.If Correct article usage
a person
such
youngster continue with this
harmful drugs, it is detrimental to their Correct determiner usage
these
overall
wellbeing
and morality in general.Correct your spelling
well-being
Therefore
, making such
person
Correct article usage
a person
to
produce Change the verb form
apply
woefuo
Correct your spelling
woeful
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
at the end
of the term.
In conclusion, it can be stated that peer influence has its merit as it fosters good
sense of doing things in the right manner and it Add an article
a good
knowing
Wrong verb form
knows
ones
weaknesses in order to make amendments.Change to a genitive case
one's
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task achievement
While you have presented an introduction and a conclusion, which is good, your essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt at the end of the introduction. The body paragraphs should systematically develop your position with clear topic sentences and closer alignment to the thesis.
task achievement
The body paragraphs could be more cohesively linked with clearer and more varied transition phrases. Endeavor to ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. The main ideas are relevant but can be more effectively supported by specific examples to bolster your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a visible attempt to organize the essay structurally, and you have used paragraphs. Make sure to enhance the logical structure by using coherent paragraphing, and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide more concrete examples to illustrate your points. Your arguments are generally relevant, but including specific instances or citing sources could greatly improve the persuasive power of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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