Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices in everyday matters such as ( food , clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Others believe that it is important for children to make their own decision about matters that affect them

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decision

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In recent years, a wide range of

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

have

Wrong verb form

has been

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done, in order to show

Correct word choice

whether is

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it necessary that

children

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make their own

choice

Fix the agreement mistake

choices

show examples

in everyday

matters

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or not

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show examples

Some individuals believe that if we allow

children

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to make their own

choices

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in various

matters

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like clothes and

matters

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, they just contemplate

about

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apply

show examples

their own wishes and desires in society.

However

Linking Words

, others contend that making

decisions

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about different

matters

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is crucial for

children

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. Now, I will discuss

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

both views

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apply

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and share my own perspective. Some individuals argue that if

children

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make their own

decisions

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about different issues

such

Linking Words

as clothing and entertainment, they learn to just care about themselves, so when they enter

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apply

show examples

society, they just follow their dreams and wishes. It means, their parents never teach them that they should consult with other people and care about their opinions.

Consequently

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, they have

negative

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a negative

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impact on society.

Conversely

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, other people believe

children

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should make their own

choices

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in order to make informed

decisions

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in the future. They say that if

children

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do not

learn

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learn to

show examples

make

decisions

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in their childhood, they face

with

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apply

show examples

numerous problems in their young era.

For instance

Linking Words

, if parents let their

children

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Change the verb form

apply

show examples

choose their favorite clothes or entertainment, they boost their confidence, so when

this

Linking Words

child grow up can make informed

decisions

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. From my perspective, it is very important to allow

children

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to make their own

choices

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this

Linking Words

due to

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the fact that they can learn how to make

decisions

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about more crucial issues in the future. In the modern era, There are a significant number of debates about whether parents let their

children

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apply

show examples

make their own

choices

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or not. Personally, I reckon learning how to make

decisions

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is very necessary for

children

Use synonyms

in order to make better

choices

Use synonyms

in their adult era.

Submitted by k.valizadeh1376 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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structure

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay lacks a well-defined introduction and conclusion that clearly states the topic and summarizes the main points and your position.

development

Develop your main points with specific examples. Your essay has broad statements but does not provide detailed examples to support your arguments.

accuracy

Be cautious with grammar and punctuation. The essay contains several grammatical errors which may impede meaning.

flow

Maintain a consistent logical flow between paragraphs and within the essay as a whole. Use connecting words and phrases to link ideas and paragraphs. Your essay sometimes jumps from one idea to another abruptly.

task response

Address all parts of the task. The essay does not fully address the prompt as it presents a one-sided argument instead of discussing both views and giving your own opinion.

lexical resource

Use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Try to showcase your language proficiency with varied sentence structures and vocabulary.

mechanics

Proofread your work to avoid typos and ensure the accuracy of your language use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

300 words

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Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

More and more parents allow their children to play on computers as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development overweigh the disadvantages?

The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that it is necessary for economic growth, while others claim that it damages local industries.