Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices in everyday matters such as ( food , clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Others believe that it is important for children to make their own decision about matters that affect them
In recent years, a wide range of
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
have
done, in order to show Wrong verb form
has been
is
it necessary that Correct word choice
whether is
children
make their own choice
in everyday Fix the agreement mistake
choices
matters
or not?
Some individuals believe that if we allow Change the punctuation
.
children
to make their own choices
in various matters
like clothes and matters
, they just contemplate about
their own wishes and desires in society. Change preposition
apply
However
, others contend that making decisions
about different matters
is crucial for children
. Now, I will discuss you
both viewsCorrect pronoun usage
apply
,
and share my own perspective.
Some individuals argue that if Remove the comma
apply
children
make their own decisions
about different issues such
as clothing and entertainment, they learn to just care about themselves, so when they enter to
society, they just follow their dreams and wishes. It means, their parents never teach them that they should consult with other people and care about their opinions. Change preposition
apply
Consequently
, they have negative
impact on society.
Add an article
a negative
Conversely
, other people believe children
should make their own choices
in order to make informed decisions
in the future. They say that if children
do not learn
make Add the particle
learn to
decisions
in their childhood, they face with
numerous problems in their young era. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, if parents let their children
to
choose their favorite clothes or entertainment, they boost their confidence, so when Change the verb form
apply
this
child grow up can make informed decisions
.
From my perspective, it is very important to allow children
to make their own choices
this
is due to
the fact that they can learn how to make decisions
about more crucial issues in the future.
In the modern era, There are a significant number of debates about whether parents let their children
to
make their own Change the verb form
apply
choices
or not. Personally, I reckon learning how to make decisions
is very necessary for children
in order to make better choices
in their adult era.Submitted by k.valizadeh1376 on
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay lacks a well-defined introduction and conclusion that clearly states the topic and summarizes the main points and your position.
development
Develop your main points with specific examples. Your essay has broad statements but does not provide detailed examples to support your arguments.
accuracy
Be cautious with grammar and punctuation. The essay contains several grammatical errors which may impede meaning.
flow
Maintain a consistent logical flow between paragraphs and within the essay as a whole. Use connecting words and phrases to link ideas and paragraphs. Your essay sometimes jumps from one idea to another abruptly.
task response
Address all parts of the task. The essay does not fully address the prompt as it presents a one-sided argument instead of discussing both views and giving your own opinion.
lexical resource
Use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Try to showcase your language proficiency with varied sentence structures and vocabulary.
mechanics
Proofread your work to avoid typos and ensure the accuracy of your language use.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.