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Band 3

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #aim #development #values
The given question elucidates the aim
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 be improved
in
Change preposition
apply
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living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 economic development. It is
patiently
Correct your spelling
patently
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 evident in
this
21th
Change the ending
21st
show examples
 century that many countries which have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 but there are still some of them who are yet to upgrade
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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, but it is not always necessary that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people have to
loose there
Correct your spelling
lose their
show examples
 social values to get
a better results
Correct the article-noun agreement
better results
a better result
show examples
.
To begin
 with my
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 totally agree that to get something
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for the country we have to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 something. It is important to improve the living standard so we can attract
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 continents people to visit ours, that will generate revenue again for the future,
this
 is best to
high class
Replace the word
raise
show examples
 the standard of
country
Add an article
the country
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 to gain attention. Social values can be lost for some time until we develop some goods for the country and later we can rejoin that
back
Rephrase
apply
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. We should always look for the best results
not
Correct word choice
and not
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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worry about the present loss that can be earned again in future.
According to
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion advantage of
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 development is always overwhelmed by
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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. So I would support
to improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 the living standard
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
economics
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 development. There must be some people who do not agree with the statement that improving living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
according to
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own precipitation may
b
Correct your spelling
be
 they would be thinking that value can be lost
for ever
Correct your spelling
forever
show examples
. But it can be earned back, living standard makes those values earn back itself.
Submitted by adilmeraj007 on

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coherence cohesion
You need to structure your essay more effectively. This includes having a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each contain a single main idea supported by examples or arguments, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are not only relevant but are also developed fully and supported with concrete examples or explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear central theme.
language
Work on the range and accuracy of your grammar and vocabulary. Errors and limitations in these areas can hinder the clarity and development of your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure that your opinion is clear and consistent throughout the essay. It should be presented in the introduction, developed in the body, and restated in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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