IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #show #rates #education #people #parts #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given
graps
Correct your spelling
graphs
grapes
graph
 provide information about present rates of secondary and higher education among the people in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 (Europa,
SSA
,
Latin
America
,East
Asia
,
America
).
Overall
,the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest percentage
precentage
 of
school-aged
Correct article usage
the school-aged
show examples
population
shoved
Add a missing verb
was shoved
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europa the least
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 made by
SSA
 and other regions -
such
 as
Latin
America
 and East
Asia
- showed
smilliar
Correct your spelling
similar
 rates. At the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
adult
Correct article usage
the adult
show examples
population
Add a comma
population,
show examples
 the range of the regions
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
changa dispate
Correct your spelling
change despite
 of decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the rate. The
population
 of
school -aged
Add a hyphen
school-aged
show examples
population
 in Europe
contains
Verb problem
is
show examples
 97
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and 90
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
. As a
comperison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 Male
Latin
America
Replace the word
American
show examples
 and female East
Asia
 school aged
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 showed
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 45 percent ,
female
Correct word choice
and female
show examples
Latin
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 and male East
Asia
 school aged
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 both showed 50
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
. The
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 bar of the chat made by
SSA
, the male 10 female 20. The
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of the
adult
population
 in Europe is 50
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of
fe male
Correct your spelling
female
show examples
 and 40
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 male. The
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
adult
pupolation
Correct your spelling
population
 in
Latin
America
 and East
Asia
 is less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 30
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
, female
adult
popultion
Correct your spelling
population
 is lesser
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
Latin
Change preposition
in Latin
show examples
America
 (20%),
East
Correct word choice
and East
show examples
Asia
 (24).The least presentage of
adult
Add an article
the adult
show examples
population
 made by
SSA
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 25
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 20
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
.
Submitted by axborovsaidumar9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words ssa, latin, america, asia, precentage, population, adult, precent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!