Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There are debates

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

social

media

Use synonyms

platforms can have good and bad impacts.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it helps

people

Use synonyms

to conduct actions in emergency situations, I believe the downsides from those platforms in

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation will influence them in the long run. Inevitably, social

media

Use synonyms

is a prominent

Use synonyms

media

Replace the word

medium

show examples

for

people

Use synonyms

gaining

Wrong verb form

gain

show examples

help during crisis moments. Take an example of the breakout wars of Gaza and

Israeli

Correct article usage

the Israeli

show examples

people

Use synonyms

. Those events

become

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

trending in social

media

Use synonyms

, like Facebook and X,

Linking Words

whereas

Correct word choice

and

show examples

people

Use synonyms

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

to notice them.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are competitively starting campaigns or making donations to aid the victims. The quick information spreading through social

media

Use synonyms

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

it possible for

people

Use synonyms

around the world to do good deeds. Unfortunately, if

people

Use synonyms

are too

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

on their online activities, I reckon they can forget about their ‘real responsibilities’.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, social

media

Use synonyms

can lead to

procrastinate

Change the verb form

procrastinating

show examples

behaviours and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of identifying self among younger generations. Technically, those sites make youngsters feel unwind by exposing them with interesting

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

, but

that

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

intrigue

Correct subject-verb agreement

intrigues

show examples

them to scroll continuously through the platforms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

them delay tasks or activities that need to be finished.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, boomers can

confuse

Wrong verb form

be confused

show examples

to define

Change preposition

in defining

show examples

their identity, since most of them are likely to appear as a person who

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

a good persona, in order to make good impressions

for

Change preposition

show examples

others. If

continuously

Correct pronoun usage

this continuously

show examples

happen,

people

Use synonyms

will not be able to be their true self, eventually. From the mentioned reasons, I support

this

Linking Words

view since both attitudes might influence their function as a human in real life,

thus

Linking Words

the usage of social

media

Use synonyms

needs to be limited and controlled. In conclusion, social

media

Use synonyms

benefits in

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of collecting necessary

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

show examples

during emergency moments, but it

also

Linking Words

drives them to show unwanted behaviours,

such

Linking Words

as procrastination and identity confusion, which I believe will harm them in the future.

ru.kabiru.biruThu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively. This could include conjunctions, pronouns and topic-specific vocabulary.

coherence cohesion

Develop your paragraphs fully. Each should contain a clear main point, supporting details, and examples or evidence.

task achievement

Clearly address all parts of the task, ensuring that you give a balanced view of the issues if required. Your own opinion should be distinct and well-supported.

task achievement

Include specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be relevant and accurate, helping to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Work on improving the range and accuracy of your language to express ideas. This includes grammatical structures as well as vocabulary.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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