Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are debates
whether
social Change preposition
about whether
media
platforms can have good and bad impacts. Although
,
it helps Remove the comma
apply
people
to conduct actions in emergency situations, I believe the downsides from those platforms in younger
generation will influence them in the long run.
Inevitably, social Add an article
the younger
media
is a prominent media
for Replace the word
medium
people
to gaining
help during crisis moments. Take an example of the breakout wars of Gaza and Wrong verb form
gain
Israeli
Correct article usage
the Israeli
people
. Those events become
trending in social Wrong verb form
became
media
, like Facebook and X, whereas
Correct word choice
and
people
start
to notice them. Wrong verb form
started
As a result
, people
are competitively starting campaigns or making donations to aid the victims. The quick information spreading through social media
make
it possible for Change the verb form
makes
people
around the world to do good deeds. Unfortunately, if people
are too focus
on their online activities, I reckon they can forget about their ‘real responsibilities’.
Wrong verb form
focused
On the other hand
, social media
can lead to procrastinate
behaviours and Change the verb form
procrastinating
lack
of identifying self among younger generations. Technically, those sites make youngsters feel unwind by exposing them with interesting Correct article usage
a lack
contents
, but Fix the agreement mistake
content
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
intrigue
them to scroll continuously through the platformsCorrect subject-verb agreement
intrigues
,
and Remove the comma
apply
make
them delay tasks or activities that need to be finished. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Furthermore
, boomers can confuse
Wrong verb form
be confused
to define
their identity, since most of them are likely to appear as a person who Change preposition
in defining
has
a good persona, in order to make good impressions Correct subject-verb agreement
have
for
others. If Change preposition
on
continuously
happen, Correct pronoun usage
this continuously
people
will not be able to be their true self, eventually. From the mentioned reasons, I support this
view since both attitudes might influence their function as a human in real life, thus
the usage of social media
needs to be limited and controlled.
In conclusion, social media
benefits in term
of collecting necessary Fix the agreement mistake
terms
aids
during emergency moments, but it Fix the agreement mistake
aid
also
drives them to show unwanted behaviours, such
as procrastination and identity confusion, which I believe will harm them in the future.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively. This could include conjunctions, pronouns and topic-specific vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs fully. Each should contain a clear main point, supporting details, and examples or evidence.
task achievement
Clearly address all parts of the task, ensuring that you give a balanced view of the issues if required. Your own opinion should be distinct and well-supported.
task achievement
Include specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be relevant and accurate, helping to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Work on improving the range and accuracy of your language to express ideas. This includes grammatical structures as well as vocabulary.