IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There are debates
whether
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about whether
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 social
media
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 platforms can have good and bad impacts.
Although
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,
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apply
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 it helps
people
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 to conduct actions in emergency situations, I believe the downsides from those platforms in
younger
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the younger
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 generation will influence them in the long run. Inevitably, social
media
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 is a prominent
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media
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medium
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 for
people
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 to
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
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 help during crisis moments. Take an example of the breakout wars of Gaza and
Israeli
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the Israeli
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people
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. Those events
become
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became
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 trending in social
media
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, like Facebook and X,
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whereas
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and
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people
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start
Wrong verb form
started
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 to notice them.
As a result
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,
people
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 are competitively starting campaigns or making donations to aid the victims. The quick information spreading through social
media
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make
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makes
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 it possible for
people
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 around the world to do good deeds. Unfortunately, if
people
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 are too
focus
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focused
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 on their online activities, I reckon they can forget about their ‘real responsibilities’. 
On the other hand
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, social
media
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 can lead to
procrastinate
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procrastinating
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 behaviours and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of identifying self among younger generations. Technically, those sites make youngsters feel unwind by exposing them with interesting
contents
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content
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, but
that
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
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intrigue
Correct subject-verb agreement
intrigues
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 them to scroll continuously through the platforms
,
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apply
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 and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them delay tasks or activities that need to be finished.
Furthermore
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, boomers can
confuse
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be confused
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to define
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in defining
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 their identity, since most of them are likely to appear as a person who
has
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have
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 a good persona, in order to make good impressions
for
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on
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 others. If
continuously
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this continuously
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 happen,
people
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 will not be able to be their true self, eventually. From the mentioned reasons, I support
this
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 view since both attitudes might influence their function as a human in real life,
thus
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 the usage of social
media
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 needs to be limited and controlled.  In conclusion, social
media
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 benefits in
term
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terms
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 of collecting necessary
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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 during emergency moments, but it
also
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 drives them to show unwanted behaviours,
such
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 as procrastination and identity confusion, which I believe will harm them in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively. This could include conjunctions, pronouns and topic-specific vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs fully. Each should contain a clear main point, supporting details, and examples or evidence.
task achievement
Clearly address all parts of the task, ensuring that you give a balanced view of the issues if required. Your own opinion should be distinct and well-supported.
task achievement
Include specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be relevant and accurate, helping to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Work on improving the range and accuracy of your language to express ideas. This includes grammatical structures as well as vocabulary.
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