Some people believe that social networking sites have a considerably detrimental effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
opine that social platforms pose a negative impact on people
and the community. I wholeheartedly agree with the former perspective for the following reasons.
To begin
with, social media is detrimental to the general well-being of users. Specifically, it fosters unhealthy lifestyles because of the huge amount of time they spend gluing
their eyes to the screen. Change the spelling
glueing
As a result
, people
who are addicted to mobile phones tend to be short-sighted, and their physical well-being is also
adversely affected. Moreover
, youngsters might lose their confidence as influencers and celebrities tend to show them the positive aspects of their success instead
of the hindrances they have to overcome. Therefore
, they can lower the self-esteem of users as they naively believe that they do not deserve better things and end up in desperation.
In addition
, such
sites can have negative impacts on society because of their misinformation. In fact, these days, plenty of information in various fields is exchanged on the Internet while
the majority of it is not verified by authoritative departments. As a consequence
, people
with a high level of exposure to these sources might be misled, leading to chaos and crisis in society. For instance
, fake news about vaccines that have significant side effects on people
’s health made people
hesitant and resist using them, which created various obstacles to the process of fighting against Coronavirus in many countries.
In conclusion, social media not only negatively affects individuals’ well-being but also
poses various detrimental influences on society as it can disturb the harmony of community
.Add an article
the community
Submitted by hungt3791 on
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task achievement
The introduction could be enhanced by paraphrasing the prompt more effectively and clearly stating your position. While you have expressed agreement, it is essential to briefly outline the main points you plan to discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more complex logical structure. While you have paragraphs, the transition between ideas could be smoother. Use a range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and reference words, to help link ideas within and across paragraphs more clearly.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and illustrative examples. Real-life instances or authoritative studies that support your arguments will strengthen your essay's task response score.
task achievement
Ensure you have a balanced argument by discussing opposing viewpoints. This could include acknowledging some positive effects of social networking sites, even if you disagree with them, to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion needs to summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs effectively. Also, restate your opinion clearly to reinforce the position you've taken throughout the essay.
