In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?
Sometimes, people and families try to imply the notion of success by
puting
so much effort into something Correct your spelling
putting
to
their Change preposition
for
offsprings
to make their Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
children
attain whatever they want in future
. This
may makes
Change the verb form
make
children
undergo a
pressure in their lives. Meanwhile, it can Correct article usage
apply
also
lead to their success.
First and foremost, there might be some satisfying results by teaching children
to be tough and a hardworker
from their first stages of growth. By doing Correct your spelling
workers
this
, they will be prepared for their
upcoming problems in their lives, since Change the word
the
life
is a race of achieving goals and so, children
will learn how to win this
race. Moreover
, they will learn to value every trimphs
Correct your spelling
triumphs
triumph
the
get because they have been told that they have to try hard to reach worthy outcomes. To illustrate Correct your spelling
they
this
, there is a huge different
in the behaviour of a Replace the word
difference
child
who had
not done Wrong verb form
has
any thing
to achieve a valuable result and a Correct your spelling
anything
child
who is treated by his or her parents in a way to fight for their goals, which latter
Correct article usage
the latter
child
is more likely to appreciate the life
's blisses.
On the other hand
, telling children
to dedicate their all energy and time for
their Change preposition
to
future
aims will put them under a lot of pressure, which may results
in Change the verb form
result
fraustration
and reluctance about living. Admittedly, Correct your spelling
frustration
this
might be detrimental to a child
's mental health. Additionally
, by
Change preposition
because of
this
upbringing, minors may be vulnerable to thinking and focusing on nothing but just
their Rephrase
apply
future
life
and as a result
, they will not enjoy their present life
.
To conclude
, although
there might be some advantages of telling children
to try hard which may lead children
to be successful and productive in future
, there might be some drawbacks about
Change preposition
to
this
action since it might damage a child
's mental health or their future
prespective
.Correct your spelling
perspective
Submitted by sinabaghernia on
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task achievement
The essay contains some relevant main points, but these points need to be more fully extended and supported with specific examples. There is a lack of concrete examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages discussed.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and paragraphing could be more effectively used to separate different points.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.