IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is often claimed that electronic devices will soon replace paper books. Do you agree or disagree?

#devices #paper #books
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It is believed that, in coming years electronic
devices
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(e-
devices
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) will
be take
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take
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 place over
tradational
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traditional
 hardcopy
books
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. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I strongly believe
with
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in
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 the given statement for many reasons, which will be explained in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, Earlier people used to read
books
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 as a habit and eventually
paper
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 became part of life
However
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, These days as the internet is advancing and humans are getting more comfortable using electronic
devices
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 making themselves more
comfortale
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comfortable
 for their daily activities
such
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 as reading and
writting
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writing
 compared to
paper
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 and notes.
This
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 is
due to
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devices
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such
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 as laptops, mobiles and tablets connected with the internet are now very easy to use and more accessible and can
use
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be
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 them for different
purpose
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purposes
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 just by a click away.
In addition
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with
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to
show examples
this
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, smart things are
considerd
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considered
 as more durable than
paper
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.
For example
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, Youngsters are now using different
kind
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kinds
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 of applications in
smart phones
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smartphones
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 to plan their daily activities and tasks over
paper
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moreover
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, they can store all their important documents and necessary reading materials
at
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in
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 one place securely.
Thus
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preferring
Wrong verb form
I prefer
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 e-
devices
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 over
books
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On the other hand
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,
Now a days
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Nowadays
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, Kids are
over smart
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over-smart
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 and exploring new things in a fun learning way rather than normal
text
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textbooks
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books
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 from school. keeping
this
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 in mind educational institutions are now upgrading and implementing their subjects in tablets to represent them virtually and developing
intrest
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interest
 among children.
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Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 they feel comfortable without carrying different
books
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 in their bags
instead
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 they carry a tab which can used for
multi-purpose
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multiple
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.
To conclude
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, Smart
devices
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 help people in
numarious
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numerous
 ways making their life easy and
comforable
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comfortable
 with easy access
for
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to
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 any need without
use
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the use
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 of
books
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 and playing a key role in the life of youngsters developing their visualising capabilities.
Submitted by korogap510 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you structure your essay clearly, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Transition smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Stay directly relevant to the question posed throughout your essay and develop your arguments fully. Provide several clear and detailed examples that closely support your position, and explicitly show how they relate to your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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