Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phones. Despite this,many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
is a true fact to consider that in the present
day
Add a comma
day,
show examples
mobile phone has become a vital part of our life and the majority of the
people
in the world are using it. There are those who say that banning the
use
of mobile
phones
for teens in
school
is,
however
, others believe that it should. In
this
essay, I will examine both sides of the argument. and provide my
overall
opinion. Generally speaking, There are a number of reasons why
people
believe that mobile
phones
should be banned
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
school
premises, like distraction, bullying and negative
use
of the phone . Perhaps the main reason why
people
are in favour of
this
idea is that smartphones are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distracting for a student's mind.
For example
, a student will develop a habit of playing games or listening to music
while
the teacher is giving a lecture on notes in class .
This
will cause
rapid
Add an article
a rapid
show examples
decrease in their interest in study and they will gradually start losing their marks and rank . A
further
point
favour
Change preposition
in favour
show examples
of banning the
use
of mobile
phones
in
school
is that outdoor activities decrease as
teenger
Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
stick to mobile.
This
is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
they are too hard to resist for a student. Despite these arguments, there is
also
a cause for the idea that mobile
phones
should be allowed in
school
,
such
as in case of emergency, to research information. Perhaps the main reason why
people
think that
this
is a good idea is because mobile
phones
provide an abundance of useful applications.
As a result
, they could read those books without any problem and
use
dictionary
Correct article usage
a dictionary
show examples
without asking other classrooms.
Hence
,
this
may make all the lessons more comfortable and silent. In conclusion, the
use
of mobile
phones
in
school
is a topic which is very relevant to modern society . Despite arguments to the contrary, I very strongly feel that we should ban the
use
of mobile
phones
for teenagers in
school
, the benefits of it outweigh the negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.
Submitted by fariaabrarsadia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is elaborated upon, rather than presenting multiple ideas without fully developing them.
coherence cohesion
Remember to make clear distinctions between paragraphs and use cohesive devices accurately to create a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clarity in your writing.
task achievement
It's crucial to fully address the task by presenting a balanced argument with sufficient support and examples for both views before reaching a conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your points effectively and restates your position clearly to leave no doubt as to your stance on the issue.
task achievement
To enrich your essay, include more specific examples and data to substantiate your arguments, which will make them more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: