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Band 4.5

Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phones. Despite this,many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom

#students #quantities #information #phones #people #classroom
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This
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 is a true fact to consider that in the present
day
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day,
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 mobile phone has become a vital part of our life and the majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 in the world are using it. There are those who say that banning the
use
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 of mobile
phones
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 for teens in
school
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 is,
however
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, others believe that it should. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both sides of the argument. and provide my
overall
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 opinion. Generally speaking, There are a number of reasons why
people
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 believe that mobile
phones
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 should be banned
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
school
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 premises, like distraction, bullying and negative
use
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 of the phone . Perhaps the main reason why
people
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 are in favour of
this
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 idea is that smartphones are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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distracting for a student's mind.
For example
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, a student will develop a habit of playing games or listening to music
while
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 the teacher is giving a lecture on notes in class .
This
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 will cause
rapid
Add an article
a rapid
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 decrease in their interest in study and they will gradually start losing their marks and rank . A
further
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 point
favour
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in favour
show examples
 of banning the
use
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 of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 in
school
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 is that outdoor activities decrease as
teenger
Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
 stick to mobile.
This
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 is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are too hard to resist for a student. Despite these arguments, there is
also
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 a cause for the idea that mobile
phones
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 should be allowed in
school
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,
such
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 as in case of emergency, to research information. Perhaps the main reason why
people
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 think that
this
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 is a good idea is because mobile
phones
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 provide an abundance of useful applications.
As a result
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, they could read those books without any problem and
use
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dictionary
Correct article usage
a dictionary
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 without asking other classrooms.
Hence
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,
this
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 may make all the lessons more comfortable and silent. In conclusion, the
use
Use synonyms
 of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 is a topic which is very relevant to modern society . Despite arguments to the contrary, I very strongly feel that we should ban the
use
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 of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 for teenagers in
school
Use synonyms
, the benefits of it outweigh the negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.
Submitted by fariaabrarsadia on

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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is elaborated upon, rather than presenting multiple ideas without fully developing them.
coherence cohesion
Remember to make clear distinctions between paragraphs and use cohesive devices accurately to create a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clarity in your writing.
task achievement
It's crucial to fully address the task by presenting a balanced argument with sufficient support and examples for both views before reaching a conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your points effectively and restates your position clearly to leave no doubt as to your stance on the issue.
task achievement
To enrich your essay, include more specific examples and data to substantiate your arguments, which will make them more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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