IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place to live. In about 180-200 words, write a passage to express your point of view

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It is said that modern machinery has made our planet a place worth living. From my perspective, I disagree with
this
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 statement for two major reasons. First of all, heavy dependence on technology is detrimental to
ones’
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one’s
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 social life, especially communication skills. The lack of electronic devices
such
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 as mobile phones and high-tech gadgets in the past allowed people to communicate face
to face
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to-face
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 on a daily basis, which improved their communication skills.
Nevertheless
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, to convey their ideas, today’s people tend to rely heavily on said modern gadgets, failing to put themselves across in person in real-life conversation.
Moreover
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, addiction to cutting-edge advancements could deal a blow to
ones’
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one’s
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 career. The Internet provides users with a plethora of appealing content,
such
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 as gaming apps and social media.
Therefore
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, students, once immersed in the online entertainment world, are deprived of time and distracted from their
study
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studies
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.
This
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lower
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lowers
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 their GPA results, diminishing their employability prospects
as a result
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.
On the other hand
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, officials who are engrossed in the virtual world may experience reduced productivity at their workplace, their opportunities may be hampered in the long run.
To conclude
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, an inordinate amount of time spent on technological devices weakens social skills and jeopardizes career prospects among users. It is recommended that users should learn how to take advantage of technology in a meaningful way

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Introduction/Conclusion
Consider improving the clarity and directness of your introduction and conclusion. Clearly state your position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for greater impact.
Supported Main Points
Develop your main points with more specific examples and data to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Logical Structure
Work on the complexity of your sentence structures, and utilize cohesive devices effectively to improve the essay's flow and readability.
Complete Response
Make sure to directly address the question throughout your essay and include a wider range of ideas relevant to the prompt.
Clear/Comprehensive Ideas
Increase the clarity and depth of your arguments with more comprehensive development of ideas and analysis.
Relevant/Specific Examples
Integrate more specific examples and evidence to back up your points, which will make your essay more grounded and convincing.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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