Nowadays, for many people, shopping is leisure activity rather than something that needs to be done out of necessity. What problem can this cause? What can be done to resolve it?

In recent years, the whole era of shopping

Verb problem

has

show examples

changed and become modernized, a number of individuals believe that shopping has become a form of amusement rather than purchasing necessarily productions.

This

Linking Words

essay will first indicate that the major issues brought on by these are

habit

Add an article

the habit

a habit

show examples

of shopping and shopping addiction, and it will

then

Linking Words

make the case that the best solution

involve

Change the verb form

involves

show examples

purchasing vital items and creating new habits. On the one hand, it can be inferred that spending a huge amount of money led to massive wastage

budget

Change preposition

of budget

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

. Women are supremely fond of shopping, they tend to shop for hours unnecessarily.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

type of unnecessary shopping turns out to have an abundance of wasteful items which are not even required.

For instance

Linking Words

, my cousin’s sister is fond of shopping recently ordered four dresses for her which were worthless as she bought two dresses

last

Linking Words

week,

her

Correct word choice

and her

show examples

parent scolded her.

Moreover

Linking Words

, she

passes

Verb problem

spends

show examples

her spare

time

Use synonyms

scrolling down

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online shopping apps

Linking Words

whereas

Correct word choice

when

show examples

, she does not want anything to buy. There is a potential solution to solve

this

Linking Words

issue.

That is

Linking Words

only purchasing various essential

commodity

Fix the agreement mistake

commodities

show examples

such

Linking Words

as food,

drinking

Correct word choice

and drinking

show examples

which are enough for daily life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it can be seen that indiscriminate shopping can be addictive. It can consume your thoughts and take up

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

portion of your

time

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

brings about detrimental

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

on your health and well-being and even your relationship with others.

For example

Linking Words

, my best

girl friend

Correct your spelling

girlfriend

show examples

is addicted

shopping

Change preposition

to shopping

show examples

who

Correct word choice

and

show examples

spends

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

surfing e-commerce platforms

for picking

Change preposition

to pick

show examples

up irrelevant items. She frequently spends a whole day

stayed

Wrong verb form

staying

show examples

away at home to seek

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping discounts.

This

Linking Words

action

cause

Verb problem

has

show examples

adverse

Add an article

an adverse

show examples

effect on her physical and mental health. In order to solve

this

Linking Words

problem, devising new habits like avoiding temptation and trying no spend challenge, which are two good ways to diminish shopping

craving

Fix the agreement mistake

cravings

show examples

. Regardless of what your shopping temptations are, consider how could you alter them.

Creating

Wrong verb form

Create

show examples

a budget and challenge yourself to stick to it without buying excess. Decide in advance what your reward will be for sticking to your no-spend challenge. In conclusion, bad

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping and shopping addiction are two challenges that we face in indiscriminate shopping,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can cause heavy

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

such

Linking Words

as massive

wasting

Wrong verb form

waste of

show examples

money

as well as

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

and

bringing

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

about our well-being.

However

Linking Words

, we can prevail by only picking up vital

element

Fix the agreement mistake

elements

show examples

and organizing good

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

in shopping.

haianh.work.dr

Dec 14, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the overall organization of your ideas by creating clearer transitions between them and ensuring each paragraph contains a main idea followed by supporting details. Avoid any abrupt changes of topic or logic jumps.

coherence cohesion

In your introduction and conclusion, ensure that they mirror each other in terms of the points raised, providing a clear indication of the essay's content at the beginning and summarizing the essay's main points effectively at the end.

coherence cohesion

Support each of your main points with more developed examples, including more specifics and details, to illustrate your arguments effectively. Avoid general statements or examples that do not clearly relate to the main point.

task achievement

Fully address the prompt by covering all parts of the task adequately and showing a clear understanding of the requirements. Present a position and extend your response with explanations or justifications for each main point.

task achievement

Clarify and develop ideas more comprehensively by expanding on your points and explaining them in depth. Avoid superficial treatment of the subject.

task achievement

Include more relevant examples that are specific to the prompt and enhance the argument. General anecdotes or hypothetical cases are less convincing than real-life examples or statistics.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

414 words

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Nowadays, for many people, shopping is leisure activity rather than something that needs to be done out of necessity. What problem can this cause? What can be done to resolve it?

Your opinion

The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this problems and suggest solutions.

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems?

Some people believe that zoos are cruel and morally wrong because they only keep animals in captivity. Others think that zoos play a variety of important roles aside from entertaining the public. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today Inceasingly, more people have freedom to work or live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this system outweigh disadvantages.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?