How do you think we can improve the quality of primary education in a country ?
Primary
education
is very important to any country. It helps to improve the economic and financial growth of the country. In the below essay
we are going to discuss Add a comma
essay,
on
Change preposition
apply
this
.
Firstly
, the current edcation
system is very old and it was not updated Correct your spelling
education
since
Change preposition
for
long
time, from my childhood we Change the article
a long
are
looking Wrong verb form
have been
the
same Change preposition
at the
study
pattern ans is too oudated
. So, I feel Correct your spelling
outdated
its
time to improve the Correct your spelling
it's
education
standards by changing the pattern and syllabus which we are
using Wrong verb form
have been
since
years. A student should start learning all the new era technologies and latest Change preposition
for
improments
in the industry Correct your spelling
improvements
while
he or she was
in Wrong verb form
is
the
school and college. Correct article usage
apply
Government
should bring Correct article usage
The government
the
new Correct article usage
apply
ammendments
and improve the Correct your spelling
amendments
study
system according to
the situations
.
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
Secondly
, all the institutions and colleges are forcing the students to learn many useless things, or we can say, not so usefull
content to the present Correct your spelling
useful
fast moving
society. They are focussing on results only, if a child Add a hyphen
fast-moving
got
better marks in Wrong verb form
gets
exam
, Correct article usage
an exam
then
the schools or colleges will use that to promote their institution and attract many young minds to fall in
thair trap of chasing ranks. To make Change preposition
into
education
usefull
from the Correct your spelling
useful
most
primary level, Correct quantifier usage
apply
syllabus
Correct article usage
the syllabus
need
to be Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
uptodate
and there should be Correct your spelling
up-to-date
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
in
theory and practicals from the early stages, Change preposition
between
then
only kids will understand and they will get better exposure to the technologies and they will stand in the first to line to catch the past pased world.
Finally
, the amout
of money Correct your spelling
amount
spending
on students Replace the word
spent
now as days
has become Correct your spelling
nowadays
the
major headache Correct article usage
a
to
parents. Because of the financial burdens, many people Change preposition
for
discontinuing
their Wrong verb form
discontinue
study
and Fix the agreement mistake
studies
facing
many difficulties in taking their Wrong verb form
face
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
farword
. So, the Correct your spelling
forward
government
and the politecians,
should make Remove the comma
apply
necessary
changes to the constitution to bring new Correct article usage
the necessary
enducational
laws, By that new rules Correct your spelling
educational
government
have to look Correct article usage
the government
in to
the Join the words
into
finacial
difficulties which every facing to complete their Correct your spelling
financial
study
, and make education
affordabe to
Change preposition
for
evry
citizen.
Correct your spelling
every
To conclude
, Government
have to bring new rules and change the complete Correct article usage
the Government
education
system. New
syllabus and updated pattern of training should be implemented , and they need to Correct article usage
A new
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
increase
financial
burden on people and help them Correct article usage
the financial
to
achieve their goals and Verb problem
apply
fullfill
their dreams.Correct your spelling
fulfil
Submitted by MUDUNDIVARMA on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the general topic but lacks some depth in the task response. More specific details and examples are needed to fully address the question about improving the quality of primary education.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, they could be clearer and more engaging. Your essay would benefit from a stronger thesis statement and a better summary of the main points in the conclusion to increase its impact.
coherence cohesion
The body paragraphs in your essay have relevant ideas, but the connection between them could be improved for better flow. There appears to be repetition and a lack of clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay discusses potential improvements for primary education but often resorts to very general statements. You should aim to include more precise examples and explanations to illustrate your points better, making your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that hinder the clarity of your essay. Paying attention to grammar, punctuation, and more natural sentence construction would improve your score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.