some people think that arts subjects such as Drama and Music are an important part of a school education. Others, however, think that they are a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, people argue about education issues especially the necessary
subjects
in a school. Some people think that arts Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
such
as Drama and Music are important. Linking Words
However
, others believe these Linking Words
subjects
may be reduced from the course because of wasting Use synonyms
time
and resources. They think the Use synonyms
time
and resources should be used for other things better. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss both views.
There are many convincing reasons why arts are essential. Linking Words
Firstly
, balancing creative and logical thinking can develop student’s learning effectively. Linking Words
For example
, in Physics, learners must imagine problems Linking Words
by
the pictures and draw something to understand them. Change preposition
in
Then
, select the appropriate equation to solve them. If you had creative skills in arts, you would clarify problems more easily. Linking Words
Secondly
, sketching, dancing, or singing are the best ways to relieve stress. Certainly, strain affects brain function directly and may contribute to emotional illnesses Linking Words
such
as insomnia, depression, or anxiety disorder. To manage it, relaxing Linking Words
subjects
are the key points. To illustrate, most children feel comfortable during the Music period because the analytic brain side rests and releases chemical hormones that humans feel better.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are good arguments for decreasing them. Linking Words
Firstly
, they need to have expensive budgets to purchase instruments. So, it would be better if we could recede money for them and Linking Words
invested
the Wrong verb form
invest
time
and resources Use synonyms
to
other education like learning media, school supplies or quality teachers. Change preposition
in
Next,
all students can have relieving activities when they come back home. Linking Words
Hence
, non-stress Linking Words
subjects
may be elective rather than compulsory in the course. Use synonyms
Moreover
, students can have more free Linking Words
time
to review the lesson or prepare themselves to Use synonyms
entrance
the university.
To summarize, how we can answer the question depends on trading Replace the word
enter
off
between working together on imaginative and theoretical thinking, relaxation, budgets, and individual activities. Personally,
I believe balancing thinking is the first step to Change preposition
apply
understand
everything and so imaginative Change the verb form
understanding
subjects
are one of the elements in it.Use synonyms
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Conclusion
To further refine your essay, consider expanding your conclusion with a more definitive statement that encapsulates your personal stance and summaries the main arguments succinctly. This will ensure a powerful and memorable close.
Balance & Argumentation
Your essay commendably balances logical and creative elements, effectively arguing for the importance of arts in education and addressing counterpoints.
Use of Examples
You've done an exceptional job integrating clear examples to support your points, enhancing the overall persuasiveness of your essay.
Structure and Cohesion
Your writing demonstrates a strong structure, with a logical flow of ideas that aids in understanding and keeps the reader engaged.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example