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Band 4

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #robots
In today’s society, there is a progressively often-discussed belief that most
of
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apply
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 will
reinstate
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be reinstated
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 by artificially intelligent
robots
.
While
 it is possible that difficult and
danger
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dangerous
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 jobs will eventually be taken over by
robots
,
but
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apply
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it is improbable that jobs which indispensable without human help will be taken by AI.
This
 essay will discuss the reason why ultimately, there some processes that
yet
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apply
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need human participation, and cannot be
requiring
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required
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 by
robots
. Artificially intelligent
robots
 one day easily
may
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replace all human work and effort. Several companies will take
Correct article usage
the helps
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helps
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help
bits of help
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 of
robots
 because it is
economically
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economical
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 and durable, and better than
look
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looking
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 for workers,
teach
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teaching
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 them new technologies and
pay
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paying
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 them monthly salaries.
For example
,
in
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apply
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many rich and huge companies
such
Amazon
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as Amazon
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,
AliExpress
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and AliExpress
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,
are
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apply
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use
robots
 with
artificially intelligent
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artificial intelligence
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 to handle some of the work in their workshop. These examples show us that
robots
 could easily do some
usually
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apply
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routine
task
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tasks
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.
Conversely
, there are many things, which human skills cannot be
requiring
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required
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 by
robot
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robots
show examples
,
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apply
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 because it is biologically impossible.
For instance
,
robots
 cannot feel feelings
such
 as love, happiness, joy, sadness, etc. They cannot love a person and have feelings for him or her. If discuss in depth and study the human biological system,
then
 a
robot
 will never
can
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apply
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be similar
like
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to
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human
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the human
a human
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 body. They do not have a reproductive system. They cannot have children, etc.
Second
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The second
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 example like two or more people communicate with each other, share their problems, and solve them together.
However
,
robots
 cannot do the same thing because just have
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 special algorithm in their system brain for these. A
robot
, in our understanding, is an assembled brain with systems and algorithms beyond the boundaries of which it cannot cross. These factors clearly illustrate that a
robot
 can never be the same as a human.
Hence
, I conclude that there are many jobs that
robots
 can reinstate and help humans. Done job more efficiently and clearly.
However
,
artificially
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the artificially
an artificially
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 intelligent
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
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 cannot be similar
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to such
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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a
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. I think nowadays
robots
 are not yet so advanced
Submitted by cavidgadirli397 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes it difficult to follow. Consider creating a clear introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and presents a thesis statement, followed by cohesive body paragraphs that each tackle one aspect of the argument, and a conclusion that summarizes the points discussed and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are incomplete and do not effectively frame the essay. Ensure that your essay begins with a full introduction that clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. It should end with a conclusion that summarizes the key points and restates your opinion clearly, without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Your essay currently includes some broad generalizations, but these would be strengthened by the inclusion of clear, relevant examples that support your argument. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it directly relate to that idea.
task achievement
You must address all parts of the task to achieve a higher score in task achievement. Although you attempt to discuss the possibility of robots replacing human jobs, your response veers into comparisons between humans and robots, which is not directly relevant to the prompt. Focus on expanding your ideas directly related to the essay question and avoid straying off-topic.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to achieve clarity and comprehensiveness. The points raised are often vague and underdeveloped. Provide a clear explanation of each point and how it relates to the topic. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and expand on that idea with explanations or examples.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your opinions. This aspect of your essay is underdeveloped, which impacts your score for task achievement. Utilize real-life examples or hypothetical situations to illustrate your points and demonstrate how they apply to the topic at hand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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