Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. “Parents should not pressure their children to choose a particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose a career path they like. To what extent do you agree or disagree?” You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence
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Nowadays, a
career
is important for our children
's future
, when they have to choose a career
means their preparation for that. A career
can be called a job, or profession which on patterns of work-related experiences that stretch throughout work experienced by each individual/employee and can be broadly detailed into objective events furthermore
, a career
is very important for anybody, especially young people
.
Improved and growth children
's careers absolutely must be supported by our parents
, cause
their Correct your spelling
because
parents
must be social support, care about their chosen passion until young people
have been
chosen a particular profession, Unnecessary verb
apply
for example
, the parents
must be understood
about ability, interests, and potential young Wrong verb form
understand
people
career
. So, should not pressure their children
to choose a particular profession or career
. If young people
follow their parents
' wishes children
will be unhappy, stressed, anxious, and sometimes like that.
I agree that young people
should have the freedom to choose a career
path they like, because can improve and grow up their career
cause
if they do it happily, they will work happily and their careers will be successful in the Correct your spelling
because
future
. When young people
follow their passion, they will find their Correct your spelling
self-identity
self- identity
in life and their Correct your spelling
self-identity
future
However
, as parents
' we should support our children
to improve about career
and professions, we must understand what they want, if
their Correct word choice
and if
children
makes mistakes we give them information how
Change preposition
on how
learn
to be better and support them to be successful in their dream and Add the particle
to learn
future
.Submitted by wiwinwindiahadi on
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be enhanced by more consistently developing ideas with appropriate examples that are specific and relevant to the topic. Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and that the argument progresses logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are generally organized, with a beginning and a tentative conclusion, though transitions between ideas can be smoother, and paragraphing could be more logical. Use a range of cohesive devices to create stronger links between ideas. Furthermore, consider the overall structure of the essay to ensure a clear progression throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.