Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be awarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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It has been argued
since
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for
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long
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a long
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time what the basis of rewarding the
exam going
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exam-going
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students should be. Whether it ought to be final scores on
card
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the card
a card
show examples
or the real progress depicted by students.
Although
we
would
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will
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discuss both the essays in following paragraphs, I personally believe that
the
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apply
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growth and progression are the right indicators for rewards. The foremost reason for people's belief
of
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in
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conventional
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the conventional
show examples
method of awarding the pupils scoring higher in exams is that they are simple and
strightforward
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straightforward
. It is potentially considered that students who achieve maximum scores are the
one
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ones
show examples
going to
succed
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succeed
in future life. They should be praised and encouraged to do even better in future. By doing so, we are
devepong
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developing
a great talent for community. Many
instituions
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institutions
including medical colleges,
for instance
, depend on entrance
score
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scores
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for
the
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apply
show examples
admission.
Submitted by prashantfor12 on

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task achievement
The introduction did not clearly present both views and the writer's own opinion. It is important to have a clear thesis statement that mentions both sides of the argument and your stance.
task achievement
The argument in the essay seems incomplete. An effective answer should discuss both views thoroughly and provide a conclusion summarizing the discussion and the writer's opinion. Ensure the essay is well-rounded and complete by discussing each view and providing a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence in places due to limited logical progression and the use of unclear sentence structures. Using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing can greatly enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points presented were not fully developed with explanations or examples. To improve, ensure each main point is followed by specific details or examples to support the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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