It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.
In temporary
life
, given the high demand of job’s
recruitment, risk-taking may take a crucial role, not only in professional Change noun form
job
lives
but also
in casual lives
. Despite the fact that risk-taking is inherently jeopardized, taking calculated risks
are extremely
essential for progress and success. In my opinion, facing struggles will bring more Verb problem
is
high
opportunities that outweigh the drawbacks.
On the first hand, taking Correct word choice
apply
risks
may bring us to situations that we did not expect, involving financial losses, mental breakdown, etc. While
being in your comfort zone will bring to
you stable salaries, definitive consciousness,etc. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, the life
of an average person is an ideal example, finish their studies, get a job, strive to buy a house, retire and die. Eventually, facing challenges often means making sacrifices, such
as quitting your current occupation or leaving your hometown, which is not an easy choice for most of us who can trade off our property.
On the other hand
, taking prospect
opportunities pushes individuals out of their casual Replace the word
prospective
life
, forcing them to developed
for adapt Change the form of the verb
develop
with
the changes to overcome Change preposition
to
the
obstacles. Even when risk-taking is always considered as an impulsive action, the benefits Correct article usage
apply
of
it Change preposition
apply
bring
to us are countless. In their personal Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
lives
, it may help them to think outside the box, raising
their creativity, Wrong verb form
raise
developing
essential skills Wrong verb form
and develop
such
as:
leadership, communication, soft skills,etc. Amazon is a prime example of Remove the comma
apply
this
development, when they combined the market with social media, the
Correct article usage
apply
journalist
thought Jeff Bezos was foolish, but Fix the agreement mistake
journalists
then
he proved them wrong and Amazon became one of the most superb businesses in history. The same thing happens
in my personal Wrong verb form
happened
lives
, when Fix the agreement mistake
life
i
perceived Change the capitalization
I
study
as a straightforward thing when most of my peers Wrong verb form
studying
think
it Wrong verb form
thought
requires
a bunch of time to get a high GPA, Wrong verb form
required
i
did the opposite thing - I skipped most of my sessions and just focused on Change the capitalization
I
knowledge
which may occur in my exams. Taking Add an article
the knowledge
risks
simply means turning the struggles into opportunities or embracing changes, for example
, can open doors to new professional and personal growth.
In conclusion, proponents of social society may say that risk-taking includes many
potential and jeopardizes
disadvantages. Personal, Correct subject-verb agreement
jeopardize
professional
Correct word choice
and professional
lives
, self-development
are Correct word choice
and self-development
the
vital Change the article
apply
that
contribute to Correct word choice
and
successful
and completed Correct article usage
a successful
life
, that
is why we should take Correct word choice
and that
risks
to thrive in life
.Submitted by quocanhtran1804 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and your thesis statement, the body should contain your main points supported by examples, and the conclusion should summarize your ideas and restate your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Develop the logical flow of your essay. The paragraphs should connect smoothly with transition words or phrases. It's important to move from one idea to another in a way that is easy for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. Instead of general statements, use clear and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
Completely address the task by covering all parts of the prompt in sufficient detail. Make sure your response is relevant to the question asked and you are not reiterating the same point.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas related to the topic. Avoid ambiguity and strive for clarity in your argumentation and the points you make. Be sure to explain how each point supports your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey precise meanings and avoid repetition of words and ideas. This not only demonstrates your language ability but also makes your writing more interesting to read.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example