Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many factories and companies try to introduce their stuff by advertising.
On the other hand
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, maybe they want to encourage customers to choose them
by
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in
show examples
this
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way. Some
people
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believe advertising is extremely successful at persuading us for shopping.
However
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, other
people
Use synonyms
think it is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. These days advertisements do not rely on television, radio or other media.
Farther more
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Furthermore
show examples
, they have
been
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apply
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fixed their places in the billboards around the city,
pops-up
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pops up
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in
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on
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the Internet or flyers
every where
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everywhere
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. In the
last
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decade
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decade,
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advertising was more popular among the
people
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. But, in our
era
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era,
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most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
have become aware
about
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of
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the politics of adverts there. fore, they prefer to choose their needs by their own knowledge and
others
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others'
other's
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experience ,who are honest.
In
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On
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the other hand, sometimes these adverts are
extreamly
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extremely
powerful to gain
the
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apply
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attentions
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attention
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and evaluate our desire to choose them but in our
perid
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period
of
time
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time,
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it become rare.
To sum up
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,
although
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,
the
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apply
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advertising
is become
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becomes
has become
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temporary that we no longer pay attention to it, But, we should not ignore
it's
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its
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power
at persuading
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to persuade
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us. We should be intelligent and aware to keep our
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
out of them.
Submitted by yazdanpanah_71 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
It is essential to provide a clear introduction that presents the viewpoints and your own position on the topic. Your essay lacked a strong thesis statement and a structured conclusion, which affected the overall clarity of your argument. To improve, always include a concise thesis statement and a summarizing conclusion.
Coherence
The coherence of your essay can be significantly improved by organizing ideas more logically and using a range of cohesive devices. This will help establish clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a main idea and avoid repetitive statements.
Task Achievement
The essay could benefit from the use of concrete examples to support each viewpoint. Including specific evidence or scenarios can greatly strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Aim to include at least one relevant example per viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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