some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. discuss both viewers and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place #viewers

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

some individuals present the view

children

Use synonyms

should be

teached

Correct your spelling

taught

show examples

home

Add an article

the home

a home

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

, others think that they should learn in school. I strongly agree with the former opinion which the best place to learn the basis of

train

Add an article

the train

show examples

is home. on the one hand, some people justifiably agree that

parents

Use synonyms

are able to train

children

Use synonyms

to grow up as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

useful and good

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

in society. it is certainly true that

parents

Use synonyms

are responsible

how

Change preposition

for how

show examples

they treat their

children

Use synonyms

. because

children

Use synonyms

mimics

Change the verb form

mimic

show examples

their

parents

Use synonyms

' behaviour when they

bring

Wrong verb form

are brought

show examples

up in the world.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, another group of people claim that learning in school should provide the best way of a good human being. they insist that

parents

Use synonyms

don't have enough time to teach. their

children

Use synonyms

since they work until night.

however

Linking Words

, I don't find

this

Linking Words

argument convincing as most

parents

Use synonyms

are out but they should provide a plan to do their role in

Change the article

show examples

approperiate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

well. it means they should be able to be a good worker and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

parents

Use synonyms

simultenously

Correct your spelling

simultaneously

to conclude

Linking Words

, in my view , the

effective

Correct quantifier usage

most effective

show examples

and

inspired

Replace the word

inspiring

show examples

one in life is the behaviour of

parents

Use synonyms

. the

children

Use synonyms

spend a lot of time with them. since they try to mimic from an early age till they are growing up.

moreover

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

can design a plan to do their responsibility

as well as

Linking Words

do their work.

Submitted by zahrashirzadnia75 on Thu Dec 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences and logical sequences. Consider the use of connectors for smoother transitions between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on constructing well-developed arguments with clear topic sentences, followed by explanation, evidence, and examples.

Task Achievement

The essay should fully address all parts of the task, have a clear position throughout the response, and conclude with a summary of the main points discussed and your opinion.

Task Achievement

Clearly outline your main ideas and ensure they are comprehensively developed. Avoid general statements and strive to support your points with specific details or examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

231 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Pros and cons of using television, it is a time-wasting? Give your opinion
Television has long been a subject of debate, some arguing that is a waste of time and others not. The majority of the families have in their homes a television and this electronic device makes part of their routine. Let’s discuss the pros and cons of spending time with television.
7
band
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Currently, most governments spend a large part of their budget not only on public services, but also the arts. Although it is necessary to channel a proportion of government money toward this sector, most should be spent on public services.
7
band
Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18 is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In today’s era of digitalization and globalization, technology is easily accessible to everyone, including children. This development has brought both benefits and challenges. One of the key concerns in society today is the increase in violent crimes committed by individuals under the age of 18. Some psychologists suggest that a major reason for this rise is the lack of social and emotional learning provided by parents and teachers. I agree with this viewpoint, as many parents struggle with digital literacy and are preoccupied with work, while teachers face limitations in their scope of influence and workload.
7
band
Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
There is no denying the fact that every kind of job has different standards, while it is a commonly held belief that some individuals think that the limit age of workers has to be a maximum of 65. There is also an argument that there must not be a certain age to continue working. This essay will analyze this topic from both points of view and express my own opinion.
7.5
band
Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?
These days, a number of children are encountering more pressures from academic, social and financial problems. one of the main reasons for this is the influence of social media leading to peer pressure and unrealistic standards. To tackle this issue, children should not spend too much time on social media.

some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. discuss both viewers and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Pros and cons of using television, it is a time-wasting? Give your opinion

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18 is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Children are facing more pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce it?