Schools should use films, computers, and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s modern society, there have been several debates about whether schools should replace
books
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by
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with
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multimedia
tools
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such
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as
films
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,
computers
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and
games
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. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
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point of view.   First and foremost, people should recognize that
films
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,
computers
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, and
games
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are necessary
tools
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that can be used effectively in teaching. We cannot deny that
computers
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provide specific images and videos that are crucial for boosting
students
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’ imagination so that they can understand the lessons at school much better. Meanwhile,
games
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can help them develop some essential skills
such
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as leadership, problem-solving, and critical thinking skills.
In addition
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,
films
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could be used as a more interesting platform to present some events in history than
books
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when
students
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are allowed to access lessons from storytelling and videos.
Besides
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the advantages of multimedia
tools
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,
books
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also
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have many benefits. Traditional
books
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contain a massive amount of information on various aspects that have been summarized by numerous experts in the field of education. They
also
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have useful experience and examples which might not be provided by digital platforms.
Moreover
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, printed
books
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ensure that
students
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will concentrate better on lessons. As an example,
students
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are less likely to be attracted by links and other eye-catching advertisements when reading
books
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compared to using media
tools
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. It not only prevents interruptions in the study process but
also
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reduces the time
students
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spend on the screen.   In conclusion, I believe that
films
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,
computers
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, and
games
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could provide potential opportunities for
students
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to have higher academic results.
However
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, we should carefully consider when using them in teaching
instead
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of completely replacing printed
books
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.
Submitted by anhpham.712688 on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, you could improve coherence by using more sophisticated linking phrases between paragraphs and within sections of your essay. Also, avoid repetition of phrases to keep the writing more engaging.
task achievement
The task response is strong as it addresses both sides of the argument. To push it further, you could include more detailed and varied examples that support your ideas. Moreover, ensure that the examples provided are as specific as possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph supports the main points effectively.
task achievement
The response directly addresses the prompt, discussing both the benefits of multimedia tools and the advantages of traditional books, which demonstrates a balanced viewpoint.
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