Schools should use films, computers, and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s modern society, there have been several debates about whether schools should replace
books
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
multimedia
tools
such
as
films
,
computers
and
games
. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
point of view.   First and foremost, people should recognize that
films
,
computers
, and
games
are necessary
tools
that can be used effectively in teaching. We cannot deny that
computers
provide specific images and videos that are crucial for boosting
students
’ imagination so that they can understand the lessons at school much better. Meanwhile,
games
can help them develop some essential skills
such
as leadership, problem-solving, and critical thinking skills.
In addition
,
films
could be used as a more interesting platform to present some events in history than
books
when
students
are allowed to access lessons from storytelling and videos.
Besides
the advantages of multimedia
tools
,
books
also
have many benefits. Traditional
books
contain a massive amount of information on various aspects that have been summarized by numerous experts in the field of education. They
also
have useful experience and examples which might not be provided by digital platforms.
Moreover
, printed
books
ensure that
students
will concentrate better on lessons. As an example,
students
are less likely to be attracted by links and other eye-catching advertisements when reading
books
compared to using media
tools
. It not only prevents interruptions in the study process but
also
reduces the time
students
spend on the screen.   In conclusion, I believe that
films
,
computers
, and
games
could provide potential opportunities for
students
to have higher academic results.
However
, we should carefully consider when using them in teaching
instead
of completely replacing printed
books
.
Submitted by anhpham.712688 on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, you could improve coherence by using more sophisticated linking phrases between paragraphs and within sections of your essay. Also, avoid repetition of phrases to keep the writing more engaging.
task achievement
The task response is strong as it addresses both sides of the argument. To push it further, you could include more detailed and varied examples that support your ideas. Moreover, ensure that the examples provided are as specific as possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph supports the main points effectively.
task achievement
The response directly addresses the prompt, discussing both the benefits of multimedia tools and the advantages of traditional books, which demonstrates a balanced viewpoint.
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